And within me is a little bird,
chirping and screeching,
burning all walls inside me.
I tell the little birdie to shut up
but her claws dig deeper into my throat.
“Speak up for yourself”
she yells and yells
until I finally listen.
-
Within an eternity
a concealed conversation
took place in quiet whispers,
I was instructed to be quiet.
The secrets women carry
would make a grown man
weep and shiver.-
And there is nothing
but this ache
sitting on my chest.
One sided was never the equation
I wanted to be stuck at.-
And velvet nights
with soft cold wind
all sitting into a cup,
melting into dust.
Give me a million reasons
why should I trust you again?-
And in every friend, there is a hidden liar.
Should I call it a curse or a blessing?-
Every universe,
a multiverse of lies and deception,
all wrapped into a limiting human soul,
only to deplete into the soil,
rotting and food for the wild.
Motherhood sits on my tongue
like a concoction I can’t swallow.
-
And winter sits on my chest
but it feels like a warm compress,
these memories are hollow
but why do I think about them?
And I can see it all now,
why they left me,
only because I was emptied out
and only because they were done
drinking all my blood.
Winter stares at me with an unkind smile.
I bid it goodbye.
I cannot survive her cruelty.
-
Somewhere along the lines,
the long trips to districts
that weren't mine,
you made me realise
that home isn't a place,
it's a person.
I've been searching for a home ever since.-
And here I am
living in a vertigo,
surrounded by cashmere and silk
and stuffing my mouth
with mildew and soft wood
that tastes like wet paper.
It's a cosmetic concealment of lies
and I've burned all the attached smiles.-