Let’s hold each other
Like a key holds lyrics
In a rhythmic movement
Like the flowing river
Like the wind holds your sweet smell
Like we held our hearts
Before we found comfort
As they fit within
Our jagged edges

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Realisations.
#3

Do you think romantic relationships are all about maturity? I used to. I thought relationships are about growing up and giving up parts of yourself that make you childish. I thought, child like behaviour has to be out grown. It’s not true. A healthy romantic relationship is about being yourself and allowing yourself to be a child comfortably when you need to or simply want to. It also helps you deal with your childhood issues and reinvent them in ways that help you create better outcomes of scenarios that didn’t bring you happiness before. It has to be an understanding between you and your partner to take turns sometimes or be child like together.

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Realisations.
#2

“Forget it, it’s in the past!”

How often have we said this to those around us or even to ourselves? How many times have we been successful in forgetting it? I’d say never really. We think fooling the brain into thinking it never happened is an easy way out when really embracing and accepting the past is the only way out. Our past is ours, it has contributed to making us who we are today. Without accepting that, we cannot move forward.

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Realisations.
#1

One of the most important things I had to do while adulting, was accepting the conflict. The conflict of who I have become with who I want to be. Accepting that has been an ongoing journey. Accepting that it’s okay to not be okay, that I can want to change myself and that it’s not a bad thing. In fact, that’s the one thing I am truly in control of. Changing myself does not have anything to do with weakness and allowing myself to accept a mistake makes me more human, more real, kinder even.

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If we changed everything about ourselves today
Each aspect that irritates the other
Every habit that needs rethinking
Things we want to change about ourselves
All put together,
If things changed overnight,
Would we recognise each other
Or our own reflections?

If we changed everything about ourselves today
What would we do for the rest of our lives?

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I focused on the handwriting.

When it was the unsaid
That really mattered.

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I don’t wear my scars like a treasure anymore
I don’t wear them on my sleeve like my heart
I put them in bottles with letters
About the story of how I got them
And let them go like the people who gave them
I don’t want to carry those rock heavy emotions
On my shoulders while my flowers try to bloom
Because they’re just not worth my energy anymore
They’re not worth the spotlight I put on them
Through my words and canvases
I’ve destroyed the walls that held them in
I’ve found the shore
I’ve found the light
I don’t want to use them as crutches
That I need to define who I am
But the stories are still mine to share
To guide another soul that has lost itself

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Every morning as I leave the house to head to work, it’s always a journey of it’s own kind. A mental map of places I’ll cross, watch the beach and sea be peaceful without too many humans crowding, the morning walkers and joggers, the kids saying goodbyes at the gates, the homeless in their slumbers and hundred others hurrying to get where they need to be - some towards today others towards a better tomorrow. I watch the early risers settling in a Starbucks window, wishing I was still in that phase of life, the homemakers out on their daily chores, wishing I could live that life too. In the many moments, I live many lives mentally still travelling towards my current one.

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We sat cuddled, carefree
The sky was clear with hope
Our plants glowing, blooming
Happiness engulfed us
But soon it was time
For you to leave
This momentary separation
Felt more like isolation
My heart began missing you
Echoing my feelings
The sky turned grey
The plants lost lustre
The air lost its warmth
And the sun refused to rise

Because
I’m not the only one
Who needs your love

It’s time to come back

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Sometimes you make me think, you want to leave. Sometimes, you let me believe I need to let you go. Sometimes, just sometimes. Then you pull back so hard, you make me wonder if I was hallucinating before yet, sometimes you make me think you want to leave. Like you’d want to erase the steps we’ve taken to be here, disappear piece by piece from my mind and heart as if you were never here. As if this is the dream I have been living of you and me; me naive and desperate for love, you, a figment of my wildest imagination.

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