When I Love…

When I do love you, all the dew congregates, and give what is due to to a flower.

A flower you will pick from a store to bring me. You want me to feel so special…

When I fall I fall with all the withdrawals crawling to your embrace.

Your hugs are infinite.

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He is so skilled he doesn’t need to break you to break you.

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Feels like bitter is a bear.
Trust is a tempest.
Feels like my heart is throwing a temper tantrum.
Feels like paradise was a commercial.
How much did the actors make off my contribution of words to the illusion that love last forever?
Pain is just as bodacious.

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Signs that you’re infected with toxic tendencies...

Going back to a situation that did you so wrong but not once did it leave you lonely.
It rocked you through the mania and dragged you under the depression.
It never said you mattered, but you always played a part.

You were the rug the problems was swept under. You were the broom sweeping all the wrong things (except a path away from this).
Nobody ever abused you if you stayed, you learned how to love being hurt.

I learned how to love being hurt.
Nobody ever forced your hand, well maybe once.
I learned to surrender and have faith that embrace would take me back.

I learned to hold comfort, until comfort became like cancer eating at my organs and shit.
Twenty years into this I’m now trying to let go and free fall fear bursting through my eyes.

Not knowing this too will be a cycle.

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Nighttime fears me because it knows I’ll share my darkest poems written with daylight.

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I’m the boss lady, I am the lung.

1 cup of passion
What it bolds down to is not how black you are.
How black do you want to be?
Know the depths of liberation.
Don’t dive in the shallows.
You’ll break something every time.
You are the mother of who you choose to be.

1 teaspoon of minced oppression
Black is the beast that has a bounty over its head.
Brightly created in the absence of a bodacious light.
I’m sometimes convinced the cosmos is a witch that made blacks extraordinary.
God made us equal.
Oppression made us less.

A pinch of vindication
I am not the thief.
I am not of the night.
I am the thankful one.
I am the proof.
The guardian of the darkness.
Not evil.

I’m a thin abomination
Set up in the body of universe.
If she could live without a lung, she’d black market search an extra heart.
To love completely and hate secretly.

It’s no surprise I don’t know how to love the dark parts of me.
My own universe doesn’t see the light in me.
Light in me.
Light a light in me.
If you can’t find anything beautiful to say don’t make the skin, the darkness seem ugly.
I make the book of revelations look like an exodus to the light.
I am the beginning, Genesis.

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His & Him

God why does the sun shine
brighter than your promises?

Mu Kumfair why is healing
a ballad sung without lyrics?

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I am an ongoing resolution, high definition, low volume, basic level, immaculate angel. The world tunes in to me and gets disgusted by the oasis I create for my blackness to inhabit. Don’t hate the black bro, boo, bitch. Relish the day you cannot find light in.

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Your mental health matters. Stop telling yourself it’ll get better with no plan of action to follow that hopeful aspiration.

“Faith without work is dead.” -James 2:17

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I will paint the places on earth that deny my art with my art.

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