৯০ দশকের এক তরুণী হলে বেশ হতো, বেনি দুলিয়ে শাড়ি পাট পাট করে পড়ে ক্লাসে যেতাম। গাঢ় করে কাজল দিয়ে হালকা করে পাউডার দিতাম। পাউডার’টা শুকনা কাপড় দিয়ে মুছে ফেলতাম যাতে পাউডার দিয়েছি বোঝা না যায়। মাথায় হালকা সুগন্ধি তেল থাকতো হয়ত। বেল্টের কালো ঘড়ি থাকতো। আর হয়ত থাকতো ঝোলা ব্যাগ কিংবা হাতেই না হয় নিতাম বই।

আমার একটা পছন্দের বান্ধবী থাকতো মাঝেমধ্যে ল্যান্ডফোনে ফোন দিতো, রাখতেই চাইতাম না ফোন। অনেকটা সময় কথা বলতাম আর হাসাহাসি করতাম।

ক্লাসের লাজুক ছেলেটা হয়তো তাকে একটা চিঠি দিয়েছে চিঠির বানান ভুল নিয়ে হয়ত আমি হাসতাম। আর আমার বান্ধবী বলতো হাসিস না তো... ছেলেটা বড্ড ভালো। আমি বলতাম কচু তাইলে রাজি হয়ে যা। কথা বলার ফাঁকে বাবা পাশ দিয়ে হেঁটে গেলে গলা নামিয়ে ফিস-ফিস করে কথা বলতাম।...

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~"Tell me and I forget.
Teach me and I remember.
Involve me and I learn."~

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There are over 7000 spoken languages in this world. Who invented and why a particular word is made in that way no one knows. For example, why is apple called apple and not pencil, running is running and not escaping, and love is love and not pain.
So, what if few words were not discovered?
She used to ask this common question, why do you think you love me? And I would fumble everytime answering that. Honestly, people who have the answer are the most dishonest human beings living in this planet.
We used to talk before sleeping and pretend as if we are lying next to each other, holding hands, cuddling, looking at each other, she over my chest, and inside that. Then, starting the next day with the usual, “Good Morning ... ”. It was our language. Looking into each other in between the long kisses, her hands flowing between my hairs, I biting her lips to tell her she's mine and so much more....

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All of us want a love that full of blessings, a kind of love that would make us want to wake up each day looking forward to seeing that specific person, a kind of love that is not temporary.

We called it love which is why it makes us feel excited with a little bit of jealousy when we see people can finally find their life partner.

We may question ourselves, will I able to find him/her? We cannot answer this question; nobody can answer this question, but I think that we will know when it comes, and we will finally understand why it won't work out with others.

Bless people with sincerity, and wait for our turn. A kind of love that belongs to us and only for us...!

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Note to self:

Allow yourself to be happy. I know how many heartbreaks you've been through and how much sadness you've been keeping in your heart lately. I know sometimes you feel like questioning your worth because you feel like you are not enough in everything. But today, I want you to know that you deserve to be happy. I want you to stop settling for less than what you deserve and start appreciating yourself more often. I want you to be the best version of yourself, not to please others but to be proud of yourself. Little by little, I hope you plant love in yourself so that you will never grow into hatred~

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● Common people : Love does not exist...

● Philosophers: If you eyes go blind and ears deaf, if mind is lost and only happiness exists in soul it is Love ❤️

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Remember this:

Time is free, but it's priceless.
You can't own it, but you can use it.
You can't keep it, but you can spend it.
Once you've lost it you can never get it back...

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আমরা তো নারী...!
আমরা কান্না করলে সেটা ন্যাকামো হবে-
হাসলে বেহায়াপনা হবে-
আমাদের কথা বলায় ছল চাতুরী থাকবে-
আমাদের অনুভূতি মিথ্যে হবে-
আমাদের ভালোবাসা লোক দেখানো হবে-
আমাদের কোনো বিষয়ের মতামত
বেয়াদপ উপাধি দেবে-
আমাদের চুপ থাকা অহংকারীত্ব হবে-
এটাই স্বাভাবিক..!
যেখানে পরিবারের লোকদের বোঝাতে পারি না
আমরাও মন নিয়ে গড়া মানুষ-
সেখানে গোটা বিশ্বের একটা মানুষকে বোঝানো
অসম্ভব কিছু..।
তারপরও আমরা খুঁচরো ছেঁড়া দশ টাকার
নোটের মতো দিব্বি নিজেদের চালিয়ে নেই।

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As I get older, I've come to the realization that I don't want to be around people whose words don't match up with their behavior. I also avoid their noises and the way they talk a lot about nonsense because I don't see myself learning anything from them. I've also come to the realization that I don't want to get involved in any drama or conflict that will potentially hinder my growth or associate with people who will make me feel inadequate.
I only want to keep my inner peace by accomplishing my goals quietly and without even showing it because I am aware that not everyone will be pleased with my success. I want to be around people who will pique my interest and enlighten me about the things I don't know.
I prefer to be sincere and honest with a limited group of close friends who are supportive and well-rounded than a larger circle that constantly criticizes you and gradually slows your progress.

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I grew up getting my feelings always invalidated and judged, I learned to be independent, I learned to suffer alone without having to rest on a shoulder. I learned how to wipe my tears and need nobody.

I grew up being the listener; but never the listened one. The comforted never the comforted. The healer, but never the healed.

I learned that's just how life goes, we fall on a bridge, we try again. People aren't always going to be there for you just as they promised to, so learn to stand up alone. At the end of the day, it's just you and yourself....

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