The discovery of chocolate
Became an orgy of calories
Consumption turned to addiction
Addiction to self-hate
Self-hate to bodily destruction
Destruction: Wishing to be fatter, unflattering
Unflattering: Testing the tenacity of loved ones
Loved ones: Will they leave?
Let's find out.

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WHY don't you say
What you mean?

I'm not sure.

Fear. Confusion.
Shame. Doubt.
Rejection. Abandonment.

I don't know.
Pick one.

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The underside of yellow
Is a muddy brownish grey
Ocular lenses broken
Unable to see vibrancy
Ash limbs heavy, mind cramped, rusty
Inertia cements the soul, pulling
It through the impure ground
Hands clenched in swampy futility
Take a pill to stabilize
Live to see another day

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I know how to play the game that just
Might make me a finalist in getting Hanged by social graces
I'm dreaming of sitting on a cement slab, Toasting in the sun
Sipping a slightly exotic soft drink
Alone - cherubically alone -
This will make me temporarily happy

-

Smile through the pain
Never let them see you cry
Bury it deep inside
Becoming numb and sacrificial
Make a pearl of the bile and lies

-

Never inhibit what you want to do
Feel the sunlight on the tip of your nose
Let the light in and warm your body
To explode with life
Live happy
Read to your children
Sniff in the heat and nocturnally pocket the black day

-

Undigested as the sunset was
I took care to see
The prisms of the unknown
Things were in the sightline of
Imaginary stalkers each with
Their own mutated colour
I comforted my companion
As I stamped my feelings
Into the quartz like ground

-

Trickling fluid never felt so loud
On an overused,
Dark and sweaty evening
Undigested as the sunset was,
I took care to see
The prisms of the unknown
Things were in the sightline of
Imaginary stalkers each with
Their own mutated colour
I comforted my companion
As I stamped my feelings
Into the quartz like ground

-

A man may love a woman
But is the circle of love
Truly valid or is it a
Fleeting gift that we
Feel for a moment in time
Like a note of clear music
In the infinite silence of
Religious passion

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