I hate myself too,
For still coming to you,
Asking for love.
It’s not that I can’t find it elsewhere—
It’s just…
I can’t settle for anyone but you.

I wish
I didn’t have to tear calendar pages
Without a single day of you in them.
I wonder—what can I do?

I try.
I try not to come back.
But I can’t help it.
I can’t help coming back to you.

I wish you’d understand.
I wish you’d listen—
So you could understand.
But when you don’t even wish to understand,
I wish every path to you
Would close.

-

O Krishna, what can I say of You?
You are the Creator, the Protector,
The silent sustainer of this vast universe
To the world, You are the Guru
The light that clears the mist of confusion.
To Arjuna, You were not just a cousin,
But a charioteer, a guide through the battlefield of life
To Devaki and Yashoda, You are the ever-cherished son
The laughter that danced in their arms
The divine wrapped in the ordinary
To the Gopikas, You were everything—
Their joy, their longing, their love, their God.
You became what every heart needed,
And yet, remained ever Yourself—limitless, loving, untouched.
I cherish most your friendship with Kuchela—
A poor man, but rich in devotion.
He brought You nothing but love and a handful of beaten rice,
And You gave him everything,
Because his heart was full.
Maybe I don’t deserve to be one like him,
But still, I wonder
Can You be my friend too?
Of all the things You are
To the wise, the friend; to the seeker, the path;
To the lost, the anchor; to the lover, the beloved
Could You be just mine for a moment?
Not the God of scriptures or the Lord of time,
But the one who smiles quietly beside me,
Who knows my heart before I speak,
And stays
As a true friend.

-

I wish I could let you know how it feels—
A heart so void,
Searching for you in every soul I meet,
Unable to love them,
For the love I still keep for you.

I wish I could find some respite
In the songs I listen to—
But they only make me seek you more.

I don’t know what else this man can do,
When even a decade’s prayer is failing.
I wish I could show you
How priceless your presence is.

I wish you understood:
You are everything this man ever wanted.
And yet—I wish I could let go of you
As easily as I exhale a breath.

I don’t seek to be loved by you.
I only wish I could stop
Carrying you with love.

I wish this yearning would end.
It’s fine if you don’t understand.
I’m just another madman,
Whose words will mean nothing to you.

But still,
This time—I’ll pray harder.
To let go of you.
Maybe you’ll find someone
Who’ll love you harder.

-

This love waited a decade,
Only to realize it will fade,
To be written and carried,
But never read or understood.

How do I put this into words?
There’s nothing more to say,
Just silence after the last word I wrote on you.

Every piece I’ve written, and still write,
Circles, always circling, trying to find you.
I wish I knew how to let go of you,
But maybe you see a man who is desperate,
I see a man,
Searching for you in every woman he meets.

I don’t seek you anymore,
I know now it’s fine—
If it was never meant to be,
It will never be.

I carry this love with me,
Not as a burden, but as something beautiful,
And I wonder if it will stay until the end,
A quiet companion, with no regret.

-

How do I put into words?
Nothing more to say,
There is just space after the last word I wrote on you,
Every piece I have written and I still write,
Circles to finding you,
I wish I knew how to let go of you,
You see a man desperate to find you,
I see a man,
Who searches for you in every woman he meets,
I don’t seek you,
I know, it’s fine,
If it was never meant to be,
It will never be!

-

So many years behind,
Yet, I still carry you the same way,
Less expressed, hidden,
The more I sought you,
The more far you moved away,
The more I loved,
The more empty I feel within,
I struggle to leave you where you left ,
This man cannot do much,
But to hide what I feel,
Running behind the things I can buy,
And everything I own,
Questions me,
If they have made me happy,
I can just smile,
Maybe,
All the happiness I sought is just you,
I lack words to make you understand,
Like the thousands of prayers,
Unheard,
As I move closer,
I wish, I can leave you behind,
Exactly where you leave me!

-

Such a bliss it is,
To love you from a distance,
And hide all the love I have for you ,
Imagine,
A poet loving you,
All the words he writes means nothing to you ,
Every word he pens- owned by you,
Yet, you just another set of eyes that read his words,
Maybe, just seen and never read !

Such an bliss it is,
To silence love with a smile,
And to still let you fall deeper,
Insane,
Like the drops of rain,
In a desert,
To the sands no plants belong,
Yet, finding the bliss,
In just the thoughts of being loved back,
And the thoughts to be slowly killed,
All with a smile !

-

An year over again,
A little more far from peoples’ memories,
But this time,
Learning to miss them,
And learning to live with that emptiness,
Wisdom teaches,
How to carry them,
Without hurting yourself,
How to love them,
Without asking them to stay,
After all,
The love we have for them,
Is for the memories that stay with us,
To be carried over again for another year,
And to the furthest you can carry yourself ,
Until the silence dawns upon you!

-

I don’t know,
How to let go of you,
Why do you linger on so much,
When I prayed everyday,
I did not know,
You will linger just as a desire,
It isn’t your fault,
But I still wonder,
What to do,
When the whole universe seems a vacuum,
What can make this man happy?
It indeed is madness,
Too far to fix it,
Only if it flows-
it’s a river, isn’t it?
Is it still life ,
When we just exist?

-

Sometimes ,
When everything is crumbling inside you,
You wonder- clueless
The smile you wear,
Is such a beautiful lie !

Some how- carrying everywhere you go,
Letting everyone walkover you ,
You watch- helpless,
The hope you have -
Such a beautiful lie!

You close your eyes,
Trusting the person in front of you,
Lost - in such a madness!
The love you have -
Such a beautiful lie!

-