I drifted, in ways I didn't want.
Scared of feelings because I wasn't allowed to feel them after her;
So I thought...
You feel too much, stop.
You talk too much, stop.
You're too clingy, stop.
You aren't talking enough, stop.
This world feels like it's dying;
In a sense, I can't make sense.
This isn't the way I want to go;
Here I go now, filling my own fucking cup.-
Let us talk;
Breathe the words straight to me.
The pieces fit;
They always have...
I'm sick of all this running.
My soul, mind, heart, and body;
I'll give it all to you...
Say what you need to;
I give you these open ears.
The ears that left;
The ears that listen...
I'm sick of living in this;
This self built prison.
-
Float, right into my heart;
Hold it, feel it beat.
Place your hand across my chest;
Let your head rest upon me...
Breathe with me;
We don't even have to speak...
Just feel;
The whole moment as we travel to sleep.
Lace your fingers between mine;
Wrap your legs around mine...
Let us lay there;
As we let our hearts out, bare.-
The brink;
Fields of flowers...
Fireworks;
The ocean?
My heart keeps sinking;
Cue the violin...-
If you want pieces;
I have tons.
I'll show you a childhood that should have ended my life;
Yet didn't.
That teacher tried to help;
I should have accepted it...
Maybe then I wouldn't be this fucked up!!
-
Back and forth;
This or that...
My head is going to explode;
Someone stay...
Someone say...
"You're not as worthless as you think."
-
It's clearer these days;
How much I lost myself.
A ghost in my own shoes;
That phrase hurts the most.
Who am I;
A soul always meant to be lost?
I hate this place;
Nothing fits...
I'm tormented;
By what??
Love, that's what...
Fuck it though, that's the bust.
-
I put myself through it;
All those years of torment.
Kill yourself, kill yourself;
Y'all have no clue, it was never dormant.
This is me;
The destroyed person you all wanted me to fucking be right?
Doesn't believe in himself;
Hates himself,
Doesn't deserve a thing;
That's me right?
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you...
Fuck it's so loud...
These screams I yell at myself.
Pretend doesn't exist now;
This is me right now,
Tipsy, barely able to care...
Fuck it though right;
I ain't worth the time??-
That's it;
That's the thought.
The one that says it all...
I'll give my whole;
Every piece of heart, mind, body and soul.
I'll bare the wings I once wore;
To fly in this void of my own creation.
So I may feel something other than pain.-
Hands clenched, hunched over;
The thoughts creep in...
Did I deserve what they did?
You know you wanted it;
Thrown to the bed...
I'm facing too much;
It's all coming back...
This is how it feels to stop running;
The pain catches up.-