I can feel it's grip
it touches me
and it disgusts me
I don't like it
I don't want it
get it away
I can't stand myself
around it.
Get it off my skin
IT'S NOT ME
it's it
it's in me
make it go away
stay away of it
kill it
it needs to go
I don't want it
any of it.

-

यादों की महक से महकती
सुबह की अंगड़ाई हो तुम
और कभी कभी तो
दोपहर तक सताते हो
जज़बात कुछ ऐसे
जो बयान न कर सकूँ
तुम्हारी बातें, तुम्हारी आदतें
एक पुरी दास्तान हो तुम
फ़ासला बहुत है
मगर कभी कभी लगता
हाथ थामे पास ही बैठे हो
मुझे छेड़कर, हँस रहे हो तुम
जो नाराज़ हो रही
तो बाहों में लिपट लेते हो
हालांकि दोबारा
मेरी टांग खींचते हो
बड़े बदमाश जो ठहरे तुम
कुछ इस तरह तुम साथ हो
एक आस हो, एक अहसास
एक भरोसा हो तुम

-

behind me, one step at a time,
the next moment, two at a time;
I looked back, the breeze
diffused the smell of awful blood,
she sat down on the 6th stair,
her eyeballs rolled down the stairs,
she crawled towards them, picked
them up & ate her left eyeball,
I shivered and screamed, she
looked back, pierced the right
eyeball with her long nails, I stopped
screaming when I saw her face...
She was me without the eyeballs

-

फेफड़ा तेरा ले लेगी
जान तेरी ले लेगी
सपना तेरा ले लेगी
ओ सिगरेट तेरी....
ओ सिगरेट तेरी....
ओ सिगरेट तेरी ले लेगी
तू लिख के ले ले
ओ सिगरेट तेरी ले लेगी
तू लिख के ले ले

(Read the caption)

-

"PROSTITUTE"

A famish in her stomach
a hungry phallus of yours,
compelling case of her
& a wormy wish of yours,
she sold her torso for hundreds
to depose lust into her duct.
She stretched her legs to
satisfy your satanic desires,
her genitals screamed for
an esteem with each push,
& for you she was a mere hole
to digest your filthy erection.
Play was over, she was paid
you returned & her kids were fed,
alas !! this was not the end
crotch was victoriously tortured
dignity was yet to be tormented,
after all you were all loaded.
You are a respected gentleman
quelling her honour & she is the
"prostitute", the only sinner,
you demolished her pride
& condemned her character...
Of course you're the "Mr. Man"
with a very virgin mind...

(Read the caption)

-

All these flaws
the imperfections
it's who I am
I'm human
I no longer hide
I am growing
quite wide open.

-

मुझसे क्यों भाग रही है
व्यर्थ यह तेरा प्रयास है
तुझसे ही तो जन्म मेरा
तुझमें ही तो वाश मेरा
परिचय मेरा तुझसे ही है
बस कुछ देर की बात है
मैं अंत हूँ तेरी आत्मा का
मैं मायूसी हूँ तेरे मन का
विलीन हो जाएगी मुझमें
न कोई सार बचेगा तेरा
आज बस एक अंश हूँ मैं
नज़दीक है वह दिन जब
पहचान बन जाऊंगा तेरा
लड़ मत मुझसे बेकार ही
जीत तेरी नामुमकिन है
कर दे आत्मसमर्पण
लड़ेगी तो कष्ट ज़्यादा है

-

The night grows darker every minute
the nightmares creep in & crawl on my skin
his disgusting touch, the chills down my spine
I feel it all over again & it feels too much real
the silence of the night adds to my paranoia
I close my eyes and try to fall asleep
but the fear of nightmares keep me wide awake.
---
It's dawn, it's raining & it's still dark
I've calmed down yet I'm a little scared
but I know it's over & maybe I'll fall asleep
the day will be good & I'll be just fine
I am whispering beneath my blanket.
---
I survived the day & the night is to come now
& perhaps with it the nightmares too
I don't know how I'll deal with it but I'll have to
it happened before and I lived through it
I wish it was easy because it happened before
but it's not and that's okay, I'll be okay
they will stop in a few days and I'll be fine.

-

I was slipping again
but I didn't want to,
I tried to cling
to the happy memories,
I talked, I read,
I played, I watched TV,
I took the aid of
humor and sarcasm,
nevertheless
futile attempts they were.
"Close your eyes
for a minute more"
"just one more
and it would stop"
I kept whispering
to myself,
"please fall asleep."
Ragged breathing
& trembling hands,
it was happening again,
I was terrified,
it was all dark,
it was very lonely,
"it'll stop, I've to stop",
I kept repeating.
Water, I wanted to
drink some water
but I couldn't move,
like I was paralysed.

-

If it meant one night in your arms
I'd sacrifice a thousand sleep
smooches & desires are more than fine
I'd like to fall asleep to your heartbeats
I won't bother to fill the silences
baby, I would like to hear you breathe.

I remember the taste of your lips
I feel the touch of your fingers
the scent of your skin, those moments
of passion, I remember all of it
but those few minutes, it was bliss
in your arms, close to your heart
I now know what peace feels like.

Only if I could find the right words
I would write a verse so long
about the moments of tranquility
I could go on and on but
words won't ever suffice the feeling
just know that I love you, I do.

-