I love love
The need to be needed as much as you need someone else...
That special feeling you feel for someone who feels exactly the way you do about you especially...
From the butterflies when things are rosy and the heart aches when we fight.
To the moans when we touch and the sighs of longing when we are apart.
I love everything about love...

But, I'll rather walk away than be a fool in love just for love.

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Hmmm...
Another year is here.
Double of what was here before.
2022

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It's sad
How in the end
All that remains
Is you alone.

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I must have been a handyman in another lifetime.
Else, why would the fates keep sending broken people to me for repair?

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It's not you, it's me (2)

So they say all the time.
But pray, do tell.
If it's not me, why does it feel like an appointment just to see you? Waiting for time slots till it's my turn. Just another member in a harem?

You say it's not me but with you "Be right back" takes an eternity.
You hide your moves close to your chest like a poker game while I sit staring at my reflection in the glass of my blank phone screen.
If it's you, then why does it really feel like it's me?

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It's not you, it's me (1)

So they say all the time.
But pray, do tell.
If it's not me, why do messages linger unread for hours on end while you're online checking and uploading statuses?
Yet I'm not the genesis.
The silence uncomfortable yet afraid to utter the words we really want to.
So as not to find what we don't want to.
But is it really you? Or is it me?

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I think of how easily I let go of the reins.
Giving control to a stranger's hands.
He pulls on my emotions.
Tramples on my blind devotion and carelessly tosses my fragile heart from left to right to left hand, always slow to catch.
I think of how I'll never learn.
Repeating history like a sequel.
New face. New stranger. New hands. Same fragile heart.
Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Strings attached.
A fool always for love.

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I feel it in every part of me.
Dark clouds over the sky cloud my feelings too.
Amplifying the fears that I fear to acknowledge.
Hidden in the shine of sun rays.
Rainy weather toys with me.
Pulling my strings much like a puppeteer.
Jerking my emotions from right to left.
Depression teases me.
Like a child playing peek-a-boo. Incredible.
The way angry weather has a hold on me.

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Telling me how lovely my eyes are.
Even though I don't believe you.

It's lonely here without you.

Telling me how I'm the one you want.
Even though I don't believe you.

It's lonely here without you.

Even though I don't believe you, I'd rather listen to your lies than this radio silence.

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Saying rubbish with confidence

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