i was young when i loved you
now i’m old
and bitter
but my heart still waited for you
all these years

-

my fingers followed the ringlets of your hair
every curve
turn
loop
and it lead to your head
to your ear
to your cheek
to your lips
and i looked into your eyes and realized
i would sit here for decades
and swim in your ocean eyes

-

after the heart ache you put me through
could you give your heart back to the same person
that broke it

-

if cheaters were like criminals
would you still forgive them

if mothers were like abductors
would you still love them

if lies were like bullets
would you still speak them

-

teeth clenching
i cry
tears burn down my cheeks
gritting my jaw so hard
my teeth might crack like porcelain
and turn into dust
everything i’ve held in
pours out
like a river

-

it doesn’t matter to me
if people hate me
cause they’ll never hate me
as much as
i hate myself

-

i dont think
i can do this anymore
my heart aches
and no pain could be as unbearable
as the one
in my veins

-

as i sit here
in the dark abyss of my room
i cry and i shake
incapable of sleep
i wonder
why doesn’t anyone love me
am i unlovable
i always thought i maybe had something special about me
that i was my own hero in my own story
but maybe i’m the one person
that can’t be loved
an anomaly
cursed to be a hermit

-

don’t try to save the people
who don’t
want to be
saved

-

even though
i could never carry a child
my arms are strong enough to carry that much life
my mind ready
my heart ready
but my body in rebellion
why god
why won’t you let me

-