Your world is so much bigger than you think...when you take a step back, you see it in perspective; all the people that touch your life 💖

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Though I may be old enough to be pragmatic, I am still young enough to throw caution to the wind

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Look up at the sky, what do you see?
I see stars.
Look deeper...
I see a vast canvas, I see orbes of light shining bright, each one casting their own glow, I also see how together they fill the night sky with a spectacular sight, it's beautiful.
It is...alone we each shine but together, we are spectacular!

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When I was young, I thought love was hearts rushing, all feeling without thought, without knowing...naive love.
Then I felt real love, a love that knows all, feels all and accepts all, a love that longs, that aches for the other, a love that sees a future but life became a stumbling block.
My hope is that I find that love once more but this time it's a love that grows old together, grows wiser, a love that lasts the distance no matter what life throws at you.

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Summer but not quite summer...
Rain when it's supposed to be sunshine,
cold breeze when it's supposed to be sun-kissed skin.
Isn't that just life in all its British glory 🤷🏼‍♀️
I dunno, I'm sat in my summerless garden, feeling the breeze on my skin, blanket in toe, glass of red in place of a cold beer and I'm thinking life is what you make...if it's cold out, put on a jumper (or on my case a blanket) and adapt...but be happy!!

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Sometimes people come into your life at a time that appears just right. Then when a storm comes and rattles your house, tests your relationship and reveals the cracks, you think what? Why?
Step back, see the umbrella view...
Perhaps they came into your life to teach you. That same message goes both ways.
Though you could not weather the storm and you weren't meant to be for each other, perhaps you both taught each other a lesson.

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I hurt...I can't enjoy, can't enjoy the happy chirruping of excited tongues,
can't enjoy the wrapping of gifts to be given or of the receiving.
Limbo is where I am, suspended. Suspended between the now and a void...the unknown space.
Can't make peace, can't grieve yet I am grieving...
A suspension of perpetual unending.

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I stand looking in the mirror,
I see all the physical flaws, all the lumps and bumps and in my mind I begin to criticise...
I look into my eyes, I try and look beyond the criticism, beyond the flaws and see me..
I then see that I am more than my body, that I may not be a super model, no page 3 girl, no pin up but that I am more than my body and I am worthy, that we are all more than our outer shell..this is at times hard to remember.

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Life hits like an ocean wave crashing into shore, we weave through the twists and turns, sometimes it knocks us down but we have a choice; to get back up, navigate the waves or stay down and let the ocean consume us.
Having been a victim of the sea before, I choose now to listen to it, navigate it, ride the waves. I may get knocked off but I choose to get back up again.

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Forgot what happiness meant to me for a moment...
Forgot what it was like to feel independent, what it felt to hold my life in my hands and know where I was going.
Caught up in a thought of a future that included another...
Now I must remind myself of the life I was striving for before...
My boys and I....my future is theirs and theirs alone.

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