I’ve been retching lately and starting to doubt if I’m breathing you in or smoking you out.

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A distant dream it is, to find solace in chaos and beauty in ashes.

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On an empty barren land, I stand;
Gazing up at the heavenly blues, I yearn for a rainbow of joy
But you leave the sky with stormy clouds.
And now I wonder whether I should smile because you took away my blues or because you quenched the thirst of the barren land.

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It’s pleasant adornment of darkness
That conceals the erroneous light from within;
Embellishing the soul into either the moon that shines bright or the stars that thrive to glint.

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Oh, how the pebble of despair shattered the calmness of my mind, intruding deep inside my veins until it perched strong in my heart!

Oh, how that pebble gave root to flowers of depression which gives away it's fragrance to every atom in the body!

Oh, how agonizing it is to feel excruciating pain every time a new flower blooms!

And oh, how dilemmatically poetic it is to relish the pain knowing that I neither want to root out those flowers nor live with them.

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The wind of love blows through the night,
Crashing against the darkness of life,
Dancing along the solitude of the soul,
Giving away it's grace with strength so varied; from timid to strong,
Yet unaware of the beauty it adds to everything it touches.

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The mind is an infinite ocean full of endless spaces.
Tremors that emerge from this ocean's belly are reflected in the vast silences of the skies.

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If I could meet you all over again,
I would close my eyes against the shine of your smile.
I would watch the droplets of your lies fall pitifully and not get drenched in it.
I would sit back and applaud as my mind stabs the futile desires of my heart to death.

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And then one day,
The heart woke up to a heavenly ocean blue,
It bathed in the symphony of the untamed waves
And dressed up in perfect serenity.
'cause it was drowning underwater yet breathing.

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Lay down the burden that's pressurising you.
Take a minute to realise that you're not running a race.
Grab all the love that you're giving and send it back to yourself.
Your soul has been exhausted fighting all the battles and thriving to be a soldier.
Aid the brave soldier's bruises with the medicine of love.

~ Dorothy Ruth

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