He: typing......
She: *opens WhatsApp and then his chat window, to type how much she misses him* typing.....
*She sees him typing,so she stops typing to see what he types*
*He stops typing seeing her typing to see what she types*
He: online *waiting*
She: online *waiting*
* In the end no one types. And both of them waited. *


"Weak enough to confess and strong enough to have patience"

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27.03.19
03:12 a.m.

After spending more than two years with me, after sleeping more than 100 nights with me,
All you have to say today is, you never loved me?
You must be kidding right, you must have had a bad mood that time when you wrote that to me;
May be your interest was more in the cricket match;
I think the weather was not good or maybe I have made you change your love to hate.

I don’t know. This is not possible is all what I know at this moment.
Look, honestly, I got to know this one year back in your eyes, that the love you had
For me ,in the initial days.. had gone somewhere out from your heart.
But I decided to hold on, because I don’t know.
Maybe I had really high hopes. Really high faith in you.

But , today when you said.. you didn’t love me… it feels as if I’m breathless.
I can not feel anything but that message of yours .

I hope to see you soon and ask ,why? Two years you took? To say that..
You never loved me.
You must be kidding right?

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14.03.19
Because I really hate missing you.

There’s everyone around me ,like literally a hell lot of people
but still I want only you to hold me when I fall;
There’s life that I have to live to make myself successful and happy
But still all I want to do is to be with you;

My Life hasn’t been going easy since you left, I hate couples you know
Because at that point in time, I want us to be at that place
smiling, holding hands, looking at each other;
So you left, (not blaming you though)…I requested you to stay
But you left anyway;
Hey listen ,tell me what am I supposed to do now?
what should I be doing at 3 am without you?
How do I not feel jealous of seeing these love birds around me?
Will it be okay if I call you at this hour?

Tell me. Just answer these questions and
I promise I’ll follow exactly what you say.

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I want to write every detail about you, about myself, about us..but the moment I start I fail. I fail to express myself. Yes I do. I know you won't believe it,but it is what it is. Everytime I come forward to initiate a conversation that I think will take us back,I fail. I fail every goddamn chance. I fail almost every day. I fail to take you back when you used to like me,I won't say the word "Love", because I know I have failed that too. My heart screams,my body fights,my hands shake,my eyes blink abnormally,and I type while my thumb pains. I type,I type,and I type. I type my tears to you. But I still fail. I still fail to type what I want to. Then I cry till the sun shows up and I fail to sleep.
But most importantly, I fail to give up. I fail to give up on you. On us. On our love.

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मैं सजाये बैठी हूँ घर का आंगन इस आस में कि कभी तो मेरे घर तम्हारे रूप में रौनक आएगी..
यहां वो हर तरह के फूल रखें हैं मैंने जो तुम मेरे लिए लाया करते थे... पर फूल मुरझाने लगें हैं अब,वजह नहीं जानती मैं ।
मैं आंगन में ही हर सुबह गुज़ारती हूँ, क्योंकि तुम्हारी आदत नहीं है न बता के आने की,तो कहीं तुम आ कर लौट न जाओ इस डर से मैं यहीं बैठी रहती हूँ...इसी आस में कि कभी तो मेरे घर तुम्हारे रूप में रौनक आएगी ।

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I'm just so tired, nothing else describes me.I'm Just tired. Tired of trying,tired of hoping,tired of coping. You remember what you said when things were blooming between us? You said you had my back. Where are you now, when I need you the most. I know you didn't go because you wanted to,maybe it was your time. But now,I'm left on my own.The only source of happiness is gone. Where do I look for you? Name a place I haven't looked for you or your scent.Or your face.It made me lose my mind. I traveled to places we had gone together many times,and I have never felt my heart drop harder.Memories of you were in every step I took.I looked for you everywhere as if you'd be there when I turned.I looked for you amongst strangers.
I wasn't prepared for this. Hell I was not prepared for any of this.This was the last thing I expected. I expected everything except this.I expected the world to topple over,but not being able to contact you in these days. World feels no more a world. Colours seem dull.
Traces of you are everywhere just not you. No matter where I look, you're not to be found. And reality? Still doesn't seem to hit me.
These things,you get them,but you choose to ignore.Don't you?

-

If you say that I'm a pampered kid, then yes I'm probably one.
I am loved because I give them love.
I am respected because I respect them
I'm pampered because I pamper people.
And I have earned this.
Unlike others, I didn't have a great childhood.
I have ruined my childhood to make my parents a good couple.
I have ruined my ego to make my friends a better person.
I have ruined my heart to make you Love me.
Which I shouldn't be doing.
I shouldn't have.
Because I didn't want this.
And I don't know what I really want.

-

Let the hearts sing and let your brain sleep.
That's how you live in love.

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All these years including every meeting,every night,every day,every chai,every cigarette,every tear,every second of my life...All I wished was us to be together and happy.
Which I guess now,is not possible.
And I don't know who should be blamed.

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तुम सर्द हवा बन कुछ इस तरह आए कि मेरी रूह का सुकून बन गए..
मैंने मोहब्बत ना सही ,तुम्हारे आने की चाहत ज़रुर की थी ।

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