What am I blaming this time.
It is never me,
Always something
I am right!

Who am I blaming this time
It never me,
Mostly someone,
The other person is never right.

But it's my life, maybe I hold a share of blame
But it is not me,
Never me, can't be me,
I am not the problem
The world is
And everything inhabiting in it.

So I am done blaming.
Maybe I am not
It still not me
It is everything and anything
Something else, someone else.
Asides me,

Maybe it is me,
But not me
Maybe a me, but not this me.

Till it is me
And all I have is a basket of blames.
It is this me,
Has been, will always be me.
I am to blame this time.

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Not all those who wander are lost
Some of us are waiting,
Waiting on the one
The one that'll get lost in us.
So we wander in pure hope that we will be sought.
Some of us are healing
Healing from the one
The one who broke us till we were lost
So we wander in faith that there's one that could heal us.
Heal us from every single pain and from us.
Someone who could change our fate with his words
Someone who would be willing to buy us with his blood
Someone that would lay his life for our wretched one.
Not all those who wander are lost.

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One day, I'll wake up and the scars will still hurt
But I won't be confused anymore
One day I'll remember you and my heart will still ache
But I would get up afterwards and not wallow in my pain
Cause the pain never really goes away or this feeling of hurt
Knowing I'll never see you again, or feel you the same
But I would have learn to live knowing that after all
I am only human and it's ok to feel the pain.

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Why are you so nice to me
Is it cause you see me for what I truly am
Or just the face I wear ignite something surreal somewhere in your libido
Is it cause you are enticed by my speeches and the every intelectual wrapped in words I speak
Or just the way my lip rolls up or how my tongue dance as I speak
Is it cause you see beyond my scars and flaws
Or just the shape of the scars when you look on them at night
Is it the swell they give to your soul
Or the swell to your groin
Is it the way I say I love you and you somewhat feel it too
Or just that they give you a way to get to my soul
Do you want me
Or it is just the fear of loosing me before you even had me
I don't which of them I'll like it to be,
But maybe that's a lie
Somehow I feel that you feel it too
I want it to be the later or a mixture of both
More of the later than I'll like to admit
I dream of our body mashed in one
So, why are you so nice to me?

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Fazed

Eventually maybe it will all make sense
Maybe we'll never make sense
Maybe this is the end
I know how your heart burns with hate for my soul
A heart that once burn in my name
But now you cringe at my name
Let's just pretend that we love each other one more time
Let's pretend that this is right
Let's pretend that it will all make sense
Just hold my hands and whisper sweet things in my ears
Dance in the rain and look in my eyes
Like the very last time we kissed in the light
And how they shimmer like the stars in the night
Even if we'll hate each other the next day
Let's live this love story one more day

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Growing up with a fucked up mentality can be excused
Growing out this mentality is your responsibility and cannot be excused
You don't get to say " that's who I am" , "that's the way I was brought up"
You can choose to be anything you want!
You are responsible for your actions and decisions

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Love is patient
Love is clumsy
Love is tolerant
Love is caring
Love is beautiful
Love is cheerful
Love is sad
Love is not easy
Love takes things easy
Love is the smile you give everyone
Love is in the little good things you say
Love is you
Love is not perfect
Love is everything embodied in you
Love is christ in you

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It's all cruise
Till it your feelings that are crushed in twos
It's all vibes
Till it your voice that break as the cries streams
It's all for laughs
Until you're the subject of its tunes

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Even when all that is left of you
Are just the pieces
Of your dreams and endless tears are all that streams
Remember that even broken pieces still shimmer

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There are lots of things I want to write about
2020 was a lot, one we will forever tell stories about
It created victors out of each person reading this
It tested our limit, It asked us are we stronger than this?
It gave us new stories, it made us laugh
It brought us hard on the tears, it was tough
But we are here now
Just like every other morning, with a new chance, a new opportunity
🥂 Here's to another opportunity to not not anything and everything
Happy new year♥️

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