It’s been a couple of weeks since i last felt like home. Since i last felt safe. Picturing lonely streets is a strange way of attaining peace i’ve been practising lately. Probably a method i trained my mind to calm myself maybe. I don’t see myself in crowds anymore. Maybe few strangers are fine. As long as they stop questioning me. These questions all these thoughts all the pressure to say them out loud. what for ? i don’t really get the point of anything right now. Not that i ever got. Through all this uncertainty i find myself as a clueless soul yet, one thing i know for sure. Rain is under where i want to be. I want to cry, I want to scream, hell i want to feel that silence in my body when those rain droplets hit my face. I want to stare at the lonely sky and melt into nothingness. I want to do so many other things but mainly i want to stand under rain and drift away with the wind into nowhere or maybe somewhere? well, after all, it’s all scattered inside. It has been that way for a long time now. So how does it even matter where i head anymore ? Oh this teary sky has effortless authority to remind me everything i wanna forget. Everything i ever regret.
-
What hurt me the most ?
Your shallow promises?
No.
Your “you deserve better”?
No.
You looking at her the way you never looked at me ?
Yes,
that pierced my heart.
-
Weird how,
Everyone wants to make “my life” perfect.
When they themselves bicker on the fact that, “nobody’s perfect”.
You hypocrites.
Let me live my version of “my life”.-
A delusional soul is indeed an open treasure to this cruel world.
-
Life is not our choice.
But, living is.
So when given a chance,
Will we choose ourselves
And let our intuition
lead us or,
Will we shatter our desires
And ignore our hearts
which beats soloud.
Just to fulfil the dreams
of another soul
Rejecting our own?
....just like the rest~-
And then,
The same words were said yet again,
From a different soul.
" Once again, you have replayed my past
Though, you were my new present "-
Ironic how,..those tiny little sparkley dust particles
made of flames and carbon, as kids when we all sung,
“like a diamond in the sky” tend to get me better than
most of the soul’s I’ve ever met.
-
Pain is,
Dreams being shattered
And passion fading away.
Pain is,
Brain grudging and
Heart aching.
It’s like a solo feet,
Set up on a
Place unknown.
But, deep within,
There’s a soul ..
waiting.
Waiting to,
unleash.-
For all the souls who think
one life is far too less,
they write these stories.
For all the souls who think
this world is far too small,
they dare to dream.-