my voice.

-

you ruined the 1975,
I called you again
even though I shouldn't have
because I don't ever know
when to stop talking-
a quote in the magazine
angel numbers
the same striped t-shirt
an article on the internet
that tells you
if someone likes you
but it's never
on the tip of your tongue-
twin water signs,
four brown eyes,
hate to admit but
I think you already knew-
didn't you?
was it the butterfly effect?
what if the stars never aligned?
why would you not
why would you ever
why would you
why-

-

feels like everything that i love, always finds a way to leave, no matter how hard I want it to stay.
here's to Yourquote and the writers I've read here! you all are so amazing, every one of you. 😿
heart and head- both are heavy, hoping we adjust to the grief with time. i'll miss reading you people.
still can't come to terms with this, i don't know why it just hurts so much, feels like ghar toot raha hai-
i did see it coming but didn't think of it to happen all of a sudden but koi nahi, maybe life will find a way¿

-

your memory is not a coat
I leave on the hook
it always stays with me
in my safekept briefcase
like a proof of identity
I wish I could burn it down to ashes
so that nothing of you existed
in me, at least
but I'd be in danger then-

your name
always stays on my keyboard suggestions
but I don't delete it
even though I want to
for some stories of longing
never exist beyond
a memorized number
on the speed dial.

-

I remember hugging you
in my dreams today
at a train station.

the train was about to leave-
I don't know which one of us
was leaving and the best part is
I don't even want to know.

watery eyes, red noses
Neither do I know
what we were trying to hold onto-
was it the indifference or was it
purposeful ignorance instead?
but does letting go mean
you do not care anymore?
can trying to forget someone
actually hamper the process
and not let you forget them at all?
is unloving even possible?
so many questions,
so much of brainstorming
and yet no answers.

does every question require
an answer to be complete?
I guess and hope not,
what is even the need of knowing it all?
For you'll leave and I'll stay; in other words
it doesn't matter if we're okay.

-

-

-

you have had nights
when you begged God
to heal your heart

you threw up just by
thinking about losing them
to someone else

you wanted to yell
“fuck you" in their face
the day they said
they had stopped loving you

you promised yourself
to never think about them again
because why on Earth
should they live in your head rent-free-

you wanted to meet them
for the last time before
September comes to an end
and you thought it would be
just like an abandoned lighthouse
while it was more like when the
first frost hit and
you forgot how to build a fire

-

-

it hurts to go back
to what we started as- strangers.
the worst part?
i miss you almost every day
without you having a clue about it.
the best part?
i miss you almost every day
without you having a clue about it.

-