Night Life of a Mysterious Girl

Let me tell you a small tale
Of a tired soul, of her daily journey
Into a world anonymous, wild and brutal
Once the sky is dark and heavy
The monsters come and hug her
Cage her in loneliness and cast spells
That shows her ugly reality of life
A terrible beauty of hidden sorrows
A void is made and emptiness laughs deep
Sweet blanket of regrets ; of mistakes she never did; a sorrow unknown!
An ugly fear of past patterns to repeat again
Eyes that sob for joy, and gaps of soul carry her to a lifeless world ; a palace of demons,deprivation and destitution
Her haunted heart caged in hopelessness,
Pity smile that runs forcedly
Enigma of surrendering herself to demons and monsters every night
Her heavy heart ! Engulfs all traumas
And is lost in deadly darkness!
Alas! What a beauty ?
She lost her heart again;
This time her monsters won.

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Why hurry for magic and miracles
All that is to happen is destined already
Why dig for gold in vaccum
When diamonds are waiting for me
All joy is ready there
I must be the person of patience,
Enduring pain, choas, trauma and tears
So that I may endure beautifully
Joy, calm, healing and laugh
Not all that I want will be mine
Not all I haven't thought of, is brutal
Some unthought things bring life to life
Not every magic will be magical
Not every miracle will be mystic
Some must cause me damage before
They must break my mind, soul and heart
Only to fix my logic, spirit and emotions
I will cherish all that comes, slowly, silently
Grief will end, and joy will speed
I will only "let life be".
I do not want it all
I can never have it all
I'm not in a hurry, I will only let life be.

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This world is so crowded for me
I feel lost in misery inevitable
The daily chaos of the busy mind
Soul occupied with unknown emptiness
The mind trapped in turbulent thoughts
An unknown war of hustle and bustle
The head and heart in deep scuffle
The tapestry of calm and choas
Mind , body and soul woven in conflict
The ugly regret of being different
The truthfulness that may costs me peace
The diplomacy that will shower me love
The rotten, deceitful world of masks
The world where real face encounters shame
The last realisation of being misfit
For a world where ruler is the hypocrite

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HE IS EVERYTHING I NEED

What is the purpose of love if not to make me obedient ?
What is the meaning of life if not to be patient!
What sanity is it to deal heart with head ;
What insanity is it to gain good by doing bad!
Why should I curse the enemy for my misfortunes ?
When I am the one doing it wrong .
Which path to take why must I be confused ;
When He has given me everything towards good .
Why should I worry about my people and pain;
When all I will be asked is my deeds again.
Who should I call in despair if not Him ?
When He is my hope when I am grim.

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1. My insanity in the world of wisdom.
2. My faith that guides me along.

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My heart realised
it's over,
when I was sitting
with you,
And still
I was
Missing you !

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" Just letting "life be" without the strings of your dreams , desires and delusions. Let things fall into place by themselves. Because in the midst of chaos life knows what to heal and when."

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Suicide is not an act
To end Life ;
It is an effort to
End Problems.

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And then I convinced myself :

Why to expect sunshine
From the person
Who gifted you
The storms !

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Have you ever
Felt,
The sadness in humans
That speak no voice
But emptiness on face !
Thought of,
The miseries world is facing
That define the richness
Of human strength !
Wondered,
Why shattered hearts
Give lessons of
Beautiful patience !
Imagined,
What soul becomes
When solace departs
And heart is numb with pain !

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