what have you done to me?

in the end, i'm the one who is left alone. you won. in the end, i've got no one to share my talks. who will listen? this pain. you left me in this darkness. can't help. i've to choose. what should have i done? had to choose this wrong path..to keep myself distracted. from you. can't stay. near you. how to handle? i don't know. and become a ghost. how to be brave? watching you stand in front of me. every breath, every hour has come to this. end.

don't deny me, this pain i'm going through.
please forgive me, i know not what i do.
but will i ever be able to forgive you?
for what have you done to me.

-

so many questions arise! but would my thoughts cross your mind?

never asked for your love. never forced you to love. just wanted you to take care of me.. when i go fragile, when i am angry, when i am sad. to calm me down. and be my side. stay. all i wanted..you to stay. by my side. i know i'm broken. i know i'm flawed. i know that i have forgotten everything, except being in love with you. never asked more.. you didn't have to do anything special to make me feel special. i never wanted that. but to take care of me when i go down. just wanted you to befit me. and stay. by my side. you couldn't even do that? why? how could you do this? to me! the idea of pressurizing you never crossed my mind. but now that i think of it. you gave a solid reason. two times. never thought about it. should have. yeah. i was incapable. the fault is mine. my hands are red. all i wanted..was..you to stay. so hard. i tried. my best. silly me. well. i won't be the same as before. but i will try. have to try harder.

and i've a lot to say. but will you listen?
would you be able to feel the pain you've caused me?
but i'll try, as i've always been.
but would my thoughts cross your mind?

-

finally
lost the battle
in which
i was fighting alone ;
but how
did i get hurt so much
if i was alone

-

no one broke my heart.

i broke it myself
by staying
in a situation, where -
my energy and time
was no longer needed
or wanted.

-

"talking to people
isn't easy!"

"why so?"

"everybody knows
everything - so no
one is listening."

-

"over the years,
with every hurt - i
have learnt to shut
myself. i have mastered
the art of not
expressing anything - good,
bad or ugly."
"so, you feeling nothing?"
"i do feel. but i don't
let it manifest."

-

every person has fire
within them -
some use it to light
the darkness,
while some use it to
burn others.

-

watching people
defend their
lies is a
cheapest source of
entertainment.

-

you can meet
someone tomorrow -
who has better
intentions for you
than someone
you've known
forever.
time means nothing,
character means
everything.

-

"i am so scared to
sleep alone."

"oftentimes, i
find myself
sleeping with the
ghost of my
past."

-