If you cannot love ,
Or cannot value it
Don't ruin it for others .

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কীসের এত অহং তোদের? দিন সারাটা দোষধরা!
হৃদয়হীনের স্বার্থগন্ধ , লম্বাকথা গালভরা!
নির্লজ্জ বদ্ধ মনে পাঁকের মতো ক্লেদ্যতা!
মুক্ত তোরা? যত্তসব ঐ তুচ্ছ বাঁধন, তার প্রতি সব হৃদ্যতা।
একবিন্দু সত্যহীন আর ঈর্ষামাখা হুহুংকার!
মন খুলে দ্যাখ মিথ্যে সব্ই , অন্তর সেই অন্ধকার।

ছিন্ন কর্ হৃদয়তন্ত্রী , মুক্ত হোক অন্তঃপুর
বিশ্বাস কর্ নিজের কথায়, আসুক আলো , বাজুক সুর।
করিস্ না আর নোংরা তোর ওই সহজ সরল মনটাকে।
কী হবে তোর অপমানে ,কী পাবি তুই মান্ থেকে?

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You had made me live with them
What you were troubled to hear .

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Me :- Darling , look, I'm trying to playfully forgive your betrayal ..

She:- I'm determined to Keep my status of your characterless time-waster.

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Me- Darling, You destroyed my life. Would you please stop to swank?

She- I didn't destroy anyone's life ! I was just gratifying you by existing.

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It's okay to feel angry and devastated about your love(?). It doesn't mean you are weak or you are soft or you don't love yourself. It's very humane and normal.

You were very harshly mistreated by your valued one When you really needed her to back you emotionally. It's very normal to feel anxious at the situation.

It's also true that you all along knew that you were seeking for the wrong person who knew how to influence but never knew how to support.But still you had to provide her enough space and time to understand her mistakes. She just took it as your weakness. That's her problem.She had to keep her price and all .

A lot of time was also wasted to figure out her vague and obscure behaviour .
You could conclude just two things from it that she was either playing a game or was too unsure of herself about what she wanted. As the first one is more painful , I am concluding the latter.

It's just that I could at last be out of this confusing clutter. A lot of things are not clear still . But I think it's not her thing to make things clear and concise.

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Once I was so proud inside that I loved you ..

Now I am ashamed...

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I am sorry, honey,
I am too inexperienced to understand your form of love
That contains lies , guile, insults, trickery, price ,money ,ego , revenge , insecurity, deservedness and exception.

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ভালোবাসা ! বাপরে বাপ।
ঢের হয়েছে ।
বলতে কি , তার ন্যাকামির ঠেলায়‌ আমিই ঢের হয়ে গেছি । টের পেলাম তাই রক্ষে।

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Love or not
whatever it was,
It was Toxic.

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