9 years 5 months 11 days...
That's the count the calender held until you returned today.
My legs shiverred; my hands trembled
My voice chocked; my vision blurred
For the first time I could hear my own heartbeats as I saw your returning footsteps carefully pacing in my life...
The storms calmed as you stood still in front of me and then, after a long pause,
we hugged...
We hugged and hugged till our breaths warmed up and our beats synced and then, I released my arms.
But I still felt the warmth of your arms delicately wrapped around my body.
I wished for the time to freeze for I wanted you to hug me till the end of eternity.

The calmed storm rose again as a thunder pierced through my ears and I opened my eyes. Morning rains and my moist cheeks made me believe in the colourfullness of dreams.
I let a sigh out in the chill winds and look at the table. The calender still counts as the wait continues!

-

It has been a long time since I have laughed.
The days pass in worries and the nights, they keep me awake.
Silence has somewhat become an escape from the answers to the questions
that life throws.
Somewhere, inhaling has become the most difficult task as the heart no more agrees to pump blood.
Voice has chocked; eyes have dried.
The head aches with the messed up thoughts as life is
turning out to be meaningless.
It's getting heavier day by day.
Yes, it has been a long time since I have laughed.
It has been a long time since I have lived...

-

And as more and more days are passing, the unsaid words are chocking up the breathe to death. Despite of being a life supporter, somewhere oxygen is turning out to be suffocating. Dried tears are accumulating in the corner of the eyes, making them the heaviest. And somewhere, little by little, the woven dreams are getting shattered.
The lyrics now fail to match the emotions...
Nights pass only with the release of long sighs...
No one tries to know and perhaps no one will ever know that someone, somewhere is alive with a soul that dies everyday!

-

Words that are still hidden in the twisted folds of my words,
will you ever be able to read them?
If you ever succeed in reading the language of those words,
I give my word, to surrender to you, all the love that I have hidden for you in the mesmerizing world of words that never fail to become a poetry.

-

And there still exists some pains
that can neither be expressed by words nor can be inscribed as verses.
They only stays in the center of the heart making the hole deeper reminding about the wound causing it to bleed indefinitely, forever...

-

And I can't take it anymore...

For the past 23 years, my eyes have been witnessing the Goodbyes.
My heart, it broke and healed itself everytime it felt the arriving footsteps of someone but no one stayed and the healed wound bled again and again. My arms hugged so many souls for the first and last time and I felt the lubs and dubs of the beats but none felt like mine. None of the beats synced with my pulse and each time I suffocated with blurred vision.
Sometimes tears escape; sometimes they dry before gushing.
Every night, deep long sighs make their way to the heavens, carrying an unknown sadness in the hope of getting lighter.
But, neither the wounds heal nor the pain lessens.
I don't want to create attachments but the bonds that my heart creates everytime gives temporary illusion of peace but
then drag the soul out of my body.
Love heals; Love breaks...

But is love such harsh that it slowly poisons ultimately leading to
the snatching away of the breaths?

-

Expressing and confessing have never been easy. Perhaps that's why feelings, muffled with emotions shower down together from the eyes and overflow on the pages to form the diction of Poetry.

-

Captivated in a young body is a dead soul that is
Tired of enduring,
Tired of forgiving,
Tired of loving...
All it searches now is peace and maybe escaping and getting lost
without any notice will carry it to it's destination...

-

And any day if you feel like returning, come as a healer to all the wounds that you bled me through...
It's been a long since my wounds are bleeding...
It's been a long since I have felt the comfort of healing...
Any one of them should reach the end now;
either my pains or my Life!

-

And each time she struggles to breathe through her chocked lungs,
a sigh escapes her mouth reminding that pain is too a form of gift;
preserved in the heart, forever!

-