How can a pair of eyes be so beautifully deceptive that even after crying so much, no one ever gets a clue to understand?

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What about those tears that were never poured but escaped as sighs
and made their way to the heavens?

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How do you breathe in when life chokes?

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And on one fine morning, I hope these things won't hurt me anymore.
Feelings less, Emotion less, Sense less, my numb body will finally experience peace amidst this universe with the escape of my lost soul.

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Dear 2024,
Amidst the darkness of the dark, with a lot of wishes and expectations, you arrived carrying the letters of hope. I was lonely when you arrived and today, when its time for you to leave, I am still alone, completely alone. A total of 366 days have passed and with the passing, it taught a lot. Yes, you gifted me things but you also took some back. I went through a lot of phases this year, perhaps the maximum. I laughed, I cried, I dreamt, I fulfilled, I expected, I regretted, I trusted, I repented, I healed, I broke, I won, I lost...
I got things which I have dreamt but my dreams got shattered too.
I got people back who had left me but those people left me again.
I achieved what I wanted but that achievement broke me.
You gave me lessons that will forever stick to my brain no matter how much I try to wipe them off.
And today, it's again time for departure. My eyes no more shed tears as my core have become the strongest. Memories hit me sometimes and life makes me tired. It's at those times that only a sigh escapes!
Maybe you have made me to learn a lot and maybe, I will never be able to trust anyone, anymore, again.
Till then, Goodbye!

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How many times does the ink
needs to gush out the pain
in the form of poetry before the
heart finally gets a relief?

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And now if I leave today, please forgive me...

Know that I have been struggling with my breathes for a long time which you never knew. I wanted to live too but when everything gets heavy, it suffocates. I wanted peace but I had to choose escape. Maybe this was the only way to feel peace within. I wanted a break but life made me loose myself in its harshness leaving me with no other option except escapism. I don't repent quitting as I know that life deserves someone better than me who is worth living.

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9 years 5 months 11 days...
That's the count the calender held until you returned today.
My legs shiverred; my hands trembled
My voice chocked; my vision blurred
For the first time I could hear my own heartbeats as I saw your returning footsteps carefully pacing in my life...
The storms calmed as you stood still in front of me and then, after a long pause,
we hugged...
We hugged and hugged till our breaths warmed up and our beats synced and then, I released my arms.
But I still felt the warmth of your arms delicately wrapped around my body.
I wished for the time to freeze for I wanted you to hug me till the end of eternity.

The calmed storm rose again as a thunder pierced through my ears and I opened my eyes. Morning rains and my moist cheeks made me believe in the colourfullness of dreams.
I let a sigh out in the chill winds and look at the table. The calender still counts as the wait continues!

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It has been a long time since I have laughed.
The days pass in worries and the nights, they keep me awake.
Silence has somewhat become an escape from the answers to the questions
that life throws.
Somewhere, inhaling has become the most difficult task as the heart no more agrees to pump blood.
Voice has chocked; eyes have dried.
The head aches with the messed up thoughts as life is
turning out to be meaningless.
It's getting heavier day by day.
Yes, it has been a long time since I have laughed.
It has been a long time since I have lived...

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And as more and more days are passing, the unsaid words are chocking up the breathe to death. Despite of being a life supporter, somewhere oxygen is turning out to be suffocating. Dried tears are accumulating in the corner of the eyes, making them the heaviest. And somewhere, little by little, the woven dreams are getting shattered.
The lyrics now fail to match the emotions...
Nights pass only with the release of long sighs...
No one tries to know and perhaps no one will ever know that someone, somewhere is alive with a soul that dies everyday!

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