Tell me, tell me why
When I breathe I can feel your breath instead
I remember you holding me close in your arms
on our last goodbye,
Yet now I find my body to be scattered on my bed.

Magical you used to say
And now there’s darkness gathered.
Crossing the roads of time,
Why can’t I find you anymore ?
Why am I unable to see a ray ?

This isn’t us, i kept mumbling
Still never wanted to run away from the pain
Now I’m trying to remember us
I only ever needed you,
Why couldn’t you just be mine? I keep wondering.

I was water for you to shape
But now that it overflowed, I’m floating on it
We were supposed to be characters from a novel
And all you had to do,
was to not kiss the lips of another
Because now stories, from them I try to escape.

Love poems bother me now
Though I’m writing one of longing
As they say, your words won’t be heard
But once you write it, suddenly it’s worth the read
It aches me everywhere my skin felt yours
And you wonder why I’m hurting!

Tell me why,
You got the best of me
But she got the best of you
Everyone knew, you still belonged to her
And I stood alone with no right,
Just left in the abyss to stare.



~ Anuska Biswas

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My beloved winter 🥀🤍

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मैं याद रखूँगी
वो पहली मुलाक़ात,ख़ामोश नज़रे
तेज़ धड़कने,और घबराहटों वाली हंसी
तुम्हारा यूँ हक़ से मेरा हाथ थाम लेना,
और मेरा बेख़ौफ़ तुम्हारी ओड़ चल देना,
के तब से लेकर आज तक ये लड़की बेफिक्र
तुम्हारी निगाहों से सड़क पार कर जाती है

तुम्हारे सामने आते ही मेरा यूँ बेज़िक्र हों जाना,
वो मेरे होंटों को चूमने से पहले तुम्हारी गरम साँसों की महक,
मेरे गालों पे तुम्हारे हाथों की ठंडी छुआ का एहसास,
मैं याद रखूँगी
के उस दिन से पहली दफ़ा ये लड़की रातों को अक्सर घर देर से लौटती है

तुम्हारे उँगलियों से मेरे उलझते हुए ज़ुल्फ़ों की गुफ़्तगू,
मेरे बदन को भेद कर प्रेम भरे वो दातों की चुभन,
जो कई दिनों तक निशान बन तुम्हारे होने का सुकून देते हो
वो हर एक लम्हा,हर पल,हर वादा हर पागलपन
इश्क़ है मुझे इन यादों से
तुम्हारा यूँ क़रीब आना,मुझे अपने बाहों में भर लेना
के तुम्हारे गालों के नरमी का अपने गालों पे स्पर्श लिए एक उम्र बिता सकती है ये लड़की

और कसकर मुझे अपने दिल में छुपा,सो जाते हो जब घंटों बिना किसी सोच के
मेरा तुम्हारे सर को सहलाते हुए छाती से यूँ लिपट जाना,याद रखूँगी मैं
चाहें तुम मुझे तंग करो या बेरुख़ी दिखाओ
चिल्लाओ या ख़ामोश हो जाओ

मैं याद रखूँगी,
वो बिस्तर पर हमारी बच्चों वाली हँसी,
तुम्हारे नादान से दिल के धड़कनों की आवाज़
जो बेक़ाबू हो जाती है मेरे क़रीब आने पे,
और वो आँखें जिनमें आज भी ये लड़की डूबने का हक़ रखती है

याद रखूँगी मै वो शाम,
जब मेरे कानो का एक झुमका खोज लाए थे तुम
बिना किसी उम्मीद के और मुस्कुराके मेरे हाथों में थमाया था,
उस दिन और भी ख़ास बन गये थे मेरे लिये
वो गली,मोहल्ला,ट्रेन स्टेशन की वो चाय की टपरी,
तुम्हें अपने हातों से खिलाना और खाते देख खुश हो जाना,
चाहु भी तो नहीं भुला सकती
मैं तुमसे ये कैसे कहु,तुम मेरे क्या हो
के तुम वो किताब हो,जिसके हर पन्नों को
अभ याद कर चुकी है ये लड़की ।।



~ अनुष्का

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Do you know?

-

If it doesn’t hurt,
If it isn’t hard to breathe,
If you’re not vulnerable enough
and don’t let him in,
Is that even love or you’re just pretending?
You’re not just a heartbreak
You’re the heart that was physically
Operated out of my body that led it to deteriorate
But I won’t write sad poems about you
Because you don’t make me feel sad you see,
No matter how much my ink bleeds through my eyes.
You give me these butterfly shaped wings around my waist
with every touch, every breath
and I fly, I fly, I fly so high
I wonder if I’ll reach the moon.
Came in my life like a storm
And I was washed away in you like hope
Earthquake inside my chest but one sight of yours
And I’m rainfall in your arms down the slope.
You’re too stuck in past,
can’t see what’s in front of you
The one who’ll hold your hand and stay despite
Love your demons if I have to.
But you need to let me in, let me in for the sake of life
If not you there’s no one else I can sense beside
The world would crumble and won’t contain what I feel
I’ll die a thousand deaths, and perhaps then
in all the other times,
The one who finds you first will be me.

~ Anuska

-

Say!

-

There’s this one night, you called me up
Said you love me, but you were too drunk
I believed you then, even though it wasn’t for me
And I kept this memory, while erasing the rest,
While hoping to erase the rest,
Cause it’s when I fell in love, for real

But was it wrong of me to wish you know
I never let another man erase it either,
every time I got another drunk call
As in the darkest part of me,
it’s always supposed to be you.

My eyes burn and I choke,
When I can’t feel anything
I don’t have words and I feel empty.
You see, empty is what I feel these days
Cause when you let go of someone you love,
It leaves a void, no one can fill.

And I try so hard to feel something, anything
But I keep saying no to new beginnings
However heavy it weighs sometimes.
So you go, for i’ll be fine
Like all those times I’ve been,
When you left without a goodbye
Cause as foolish as it may sound
I chose to love you,
even though it doesn’t make sense anymore.

~ Anuska Biswas

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I’ll find you :’)

-

.

-

I count the stars
as impossibly as I count on you
And I know faith is a silly thing to keep,
And perhaps someday you'll leave for good,
And I doubt if I should feel both.

You must know I had lovers
who left me with my bared soul
Heart, used over and over again
and given away for someone else
to bear the casualties.
Lovers, who tore me apart
while others draped me well
keeping me from bursting out of miseries.

And when I was born
Winter held me in his arms
as I cuddled him to sleep in cold
I shall be telling this with a smile,
It doesn't scare me to hold on
So you let the storm arrive at my door
As where I stand, I see a
vast ocean filled with stars
And I do count them
as impossibly as I count on you
For this right here, for now is real.


- Anuska Biswas

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