My body is aching..
My eyes are dry..
My new status is like..
I will surely cry..

Every day there is a strange condition..
It has literally become a tradition..
My whole body has no sensation..
All I need is your attention..

My heart just want you..
Yet body wants to isolate...
It's not your love..
But comfort for which I'm desperate..

This is such a weird phase..
I don't want to celebrate intimacy..
But..
Still want you near..
To be your delicacy..

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Revisiting childhood..
The most beautiful phase of everyone's life..
When your little friend is your husband, and you his wife...
When your smile can go a mile...
And your tears don't stop for a while..
When everyone's dream is to become a doctor..
Or may be a model or an actor..
When your parents are your inspiration..
And your dream is to fulfill their aspirations..
Yes..
I too was born with the similar baby cry..
But to describe my childhood, might be my worst try..
From being tried to kill..
To not be able to do anything of my will..
From being used as a tool..
To still loving my parents like a fool..
Seeing my own mother bleeding from a stab on her tummy..
And then growing up becoming my father's dummy..
Pleasing the whole world I've the best home..
And then secretly renting rooms
to just find few hours
of feeling what is an actual home..
Being sexually assaulted..
And finding that no it's you and your mother who're faulted..
Yet sharing the same ceiling..
As if my heart has no feeling..
Realising my parents are going to be old soon..
And thinking where childhood vanished after full moon..

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Stress busters

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Caged
I am inside a room with my mother. The room is locked. My father is abusing us from outside. But we locked our door from inside so that he cannot come inside. He might lock us from outside. All we have is a water bottle partially filled. He is demanding our mobile phones, but that's the only contact point. Because we don't know tomorrow he will open the door or not. He is telling that me and my mom are sluts. He says that we don't have self respect to give him our phones. We are veey scared. Especially me... I will not be able to contact my love.. he is my only strength.. I am fighting as fiercly as I can.. shedding all the self respect I have.. I randomly think of taking away my life. But then, my love is the only reason I want to survive. I just don't know what tomorrow morning will bring. I can't even just sleep. I wish I could end all this. But I know my mother will still stay here with him.. I don't know out of fear or what.. I will never be free.. and I just crave for freedom every day.. I wish I can just close my eyes forever..and never ever face that devil..

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क्या देख रहा है, दूर से बैठ कर तू,
बहुत आसान लग रही है ना !
ये जिंदगी है, ......
उतर कर देख .....
सिर्फ तैरने का मजा दिखता है,
पार करने में तकलीफें भी बहुत है।

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मुझे रखा था छांव में
खुद चलते थे धूप में
मैंने देखा है एक फरिश्ता
पिता के रूप में ।।

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I'm lonely road of broken dreams
It's a Boulevard that I am searching for
These stars are so dull
It's the moon that I am searching for
Happiness is so angry at me
It's life that I am searching for
There is a crowd around me at all times
It's a friend that I am searching for
My life is just like a path
It's the destination that I am searching for
Don't know what is it that I have lost
Maybe it's ME that I am searching for

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बेड़ियां....
कभी उसके सपने कुचले
कभी उसकी आवाज़
कभी उसकी उम्मीदें रौंदी
कभी उसके जज़्बात

फ़िक्र उसकी जिसे तुमने कहा
छीन लिया उससे उसका ही वजूद
उसके हि जीवन की तस्वीर
बनाई तुमने उसके आंसुओं से
हां बेटी है वो तुम्हारी
पर शायद एक इंसान भी
हुक़ूमत शायद तुम्हारी है
पर शायद उसका प्यार भी

जो तुम्हारी लाखों की दौलत ना दे पाई
किसी की बाहों में है उसकी वही हसीं
ये तुम्हारा प्यार तुम्हारी फ़िक्र नहीं
ये बेड़ियां हैं, उसकी ख्वाहिशों को जकड़ी ।।

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कभी मुस्कुराती थी जिंदगी
आज बह रही है अश्कों सी
कभी आजाद थी ख्वाहिशें
आज कैद है जिम्मेदारियों की सलाखों में
कभी भरपूर थी आशाएं
आज वह सिमटी है कुछ पन्नों में
वह बचपन की मासूमियत थी या बड़ो की छांव
जो गलतियों को मिटाने की कोशिश में
न जाने कब गुजर गई।।

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डरे सेहमे वो..
खौफ़ के आंसू रोते वो..
भागते दौड़ते आग की लपटों से दूर..
उसी इंसान से उम्मीद रखते..
उसी को गले लगाते..
वह इंसान जो मसीहा है..
जिसने उन्हें बचाया है..
लिपट कर जिससे वह महफूज़ महसूस कर रहा है..
दूर कर कर उन्हें ज़रा कह दो उनसे..
यह आग हमने ही लगाई है..।।

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