Coz fear
can only swallow us
if we allow ourselves
to drown in it.
(in caption)

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What isn't poetry
is me sulking
in a corner.
Feeling all the time
that I am
a downer.

Or maybe,
it is poetry.
This constant frowning,
in the depths of my anxiety
where I am
drowning.

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Shabd ka mol jaano
To jaano mol kya
Kahe ko tol jaano
To jaano tol kya

Jo keh diya
Wo badal na pae
Uljhane jo ye banai
Unka hal na pae

Moh ka mol jaano
To jaano mol kya
Zid se tol jaano
To jaano tol kya

Kabhi chashni mila k jaano
To jaano mol kya
Kabhi khud ko ghol jaano
To jaano tol kya

Kabhi dil me rakh jaano
To jaano mol kya
Kabhi toote dil k tukde samet jaano
To jaano tol kya

Kabhi rooh nichod jaano
To jaano mol kya
Kabhi khud ko tatol jaano
To jaano tol kya

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He is nice.
He is just drunk now.
He cares about me.
He is just lost somewhere now.
He doesn't beat me.
He just loses his temper every then and now.
He takes me to parties.
He just takes extra care of my make up now.
He loves music.
He just composes new melodies at our home now.

I am happy.
I just don't compare things with the past now.
I am not enjoying.
I am barely alive
for now...

-

Hi guys
YQ is on autopilot now.
Can't believe that it might not be there
the next year. It feels like yesterday when
I started writing and found so many amazing people on the app.
Let's not drift apart and try and
stay connected.
Find me on insta. Link in caption and bio.

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As long as pain remains in your head,
it is bearable.
But as soon as it starts to seep in,
it makes you wish
you were dead.
Coz the way it crumbles your bones,
it feels worse than a bed of thorns.

The constant throbbing and aching
makes you wonder
if it is your life it is taking.
Not able to eat
yet always feeling the hunger,
makes it impossible
to have a peaceful slumber.

People say you look fabulous
what's the secret
that you always look the same?
As they have no idea
about your constant pain
that it is not your gain,
just another day spent in vain...

-

Tonight,
there isn't a star
in the sky.
Rain is pouring hard
as moon attempts
another try to break
the clouds apart.
It's darkness all around me.
Still I'm not afraid.

Coz as I look around,
I'm reminded of your gaze.
And the night looks back at me
as I lose myself
in the deepest darkest gaze.

-

What is poetry,
if not
my yearnings for you?
Hoping to find peace
by losing myself
in the depths of you...

-

PASSERBY

Again, I'm standing here,
waiting for you to come along
as I look at the passerbys
while listening to our favourite song.
It's a peaceful day in August,
yet somehow something feels
just wrong.— % &Seeing my shadow disappear, I look at the sky.
The dark clouds makes the queasy feeling in my stomach grows strong.
Wild wind blows towards me, making me turn my head around,
as if trying to save me from the fate
that was already prolonged. — % &Coz as soon as I looked back, I saw you.... With her.
And as the rain starts pouring down,
I wish that when there was still a chance, I too should have gone.
You are laughing, not bothered by the rain
chasing and kissing her, holding her close,
like a picture of happiness drawn.— % &The raindrops fall from my cheek, mixing with my tears as I stand there
suddenly feeling withdrawn.
The flower vase fall from my hand.
With the glass, in a million pieces, shattered my heart, what for me,
with you the whole time, did belong.— % &A passerby running away from the rain steps on the flowers, leaving them crumbled and stomped.
Just like my broken heart felt as you cross the road and come towards me. Seeing me all drenched and trembling, your eyes go wide. Dumbfounded, you babble as you try and fawn.— % &Your girl frowns looking at us as I pull myself away from your desperate cries
and with the wind,
like a passerby, I move along.— % &And as I move on, all the endless waiting, the forgetfulness, the carelessness, the rudeness, it all made sense now.
In your busy life, this is what I was, what I'll ever be... A passerby hoping to find a place to belong. — % &

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आसमान से चुन कर
तारे आँचल में पिरोए थे।
खुशियों के वादों से
दामन सजाये थे।
खुशी के आंसुओं से आँखें थी भर आई
पर वो आँसू
किसीने ना छिपाए थे।

शायद
आँचल में उसके
भरे हमने जो सितारे कम थे।
झोली में भरे
खुशियों के वादे वो कम थे।
या कुछ वक्त ने हम पर
ढाए सितम थे।
या शायद हमारी किस्मत में ही
लिखे बस गम थे।
तभी तो गम के आँसू
कुछ ने छिपाए
कुछ ने छिपाए अपने ज़ख्म थे।

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