'Today' is a day like this where the wind was dreadfully fierce, where the sky was oddly cloudy, where my room was awfully cold, and where my day was strangely short. Morning, noon and the evening bid me adieu they were in such hurry making way for the cold rainy night. I wonder which gods where angry with humans today. I stand here helplessly, watching them leave, wanting and wishing to hold them back. But who am I to stop I can only watch them pass by. And hence, here I am, making a wish on this rainy night that my tomorrows are a tad-bit longer than my today, my mornings are a lot brighter than today, and my evenings a lot calmer than today. Where my nights wish me good night in the place of thunder and rain, where the wind whispers the stories it heard, and where the place I sleep is soothingly calm. Had only then I can finish what I have started, and peacefully put down the weight of the days I carry within...
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I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all... read more
People look at her and say she is fierce
without realising she is in flames,
and burning alive...-
My heart is heavy, is it because the weight of the words I carry within or the strength of the feelings I deny to exist?
It is in pain, I can feel it, I hear it saying, begging to fix- but I know not how. Only if I could take it out for a few days, well, few hours would do just fine too, to forget things and to forgive some people, just to feel alive, out of pain and suffering.Just to feel perfectly normal like how it was, the day when I was born; and the day when I was reborn...-
What should we trade to be in each other's lives
facing the crossroad, a choice to make,
where would it take us?
will it be a future together or shall we
leave us in our respective past,
a place to which we would never return,
a past that has no happy tomorrows in it...-
I have been said I'm a stubborn girl
who choose fire over the water
knowing the flames can burn me down
one day, but they seldom know it's the fire that
keeps me warm, for I am that girl who
hardly learnt how to swim...
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Letters to Heaven
15th letter
Mama, you know the events that unfolded in our home last month and unfortunately the only person who could have stopped this was you. I knew things would turn sour, but didn't have the slightest idea the whole family would be broken down. I don't have any words to describe how humiliating I feel. Usually, it is the kids who bring misery to the family but in my case, it is the parents who are the worst. Mama, at least in my next life please send me to respectable parents, even if they are poor I won't care. And please visit Achachan and Ammama they are hurt beyond any words can say. They were not expecting a knife drawn inside them at this late in their lives. We are building a new home and I would have a home that I can call ours, without any fear of anyone kicking us out. Hope they are not sad or disheartened and hope they live a longer life. Cause if I don't have them around I would be alone in this big wide world since you already left my side way too soon. Watch over the three of us mama, I hope you never stopped doing the same. My college is going well and I promise, I will make you proud one day, miss you a lot mama.
Love Ammu♥-
Some cities call out to us, perhaps some don't. I wonder which one is harder, to be in a city where you don't belong or to be caught up in moments that you wish didn't exist. I am not a fan of this city, I'm hesitant to see all the promising things this place has to offer me. I do wonder if the city is feminine or masculine or perhaps non-binary, a wild youth hustling to make life work. It might take a while for me to settle in, to feel the pulse, and to heed to this place in its truest form. To try and listen to its people and to understand why they call it their one true home. The sky looks pretty, and the carved temples too. Enormous trees with pretty flowers, birds, dogs and calm lakes-- not too crowded nor too abandoned. Sunsets are pretty, as they always are, adding divinity to the hymns from the nearby temple and to the sound of the temple bells--detaching one from the bustling streets and the heavy traffic outside.Then we have the calm breeze and the dancing dry leaves--yes evenings are considerably better...
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When the days are long and the nights are hard and the whole world feels like falling apart, hang in there. Everything will eventually turn out well. Don't you know how lucky you are to watch the sky painted in golden hues, to feel the wind whispering his ways ahead and the birds chirping their worries away. Speak to them, what if they can listen to you?
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LETTERS TO HEAVEN
14th Letter
Mama,
Happy New Year!!
I thought 2022 will be good to me, but no. Im not sure if I love my people a little more or if I can sense a danger a little too early than others. I sincerely wish I am wrong for this one time, my arguments were baseless, and others were genuinely right. But I feel this strongly in my heart, it never lies and as the time passes it is only growing stronger. And the worst part is I was never wrong!!
I want my grandpa to be safe. I want to keep him away from all the evil deeds and all the manipulations hereafter.I wish him to live for an eternity. Keep him safe, keep him healthy and keep him happy!!
Look after him mama. He needs to be safe. I am leaving for Bangalore and my mind is not at peace. Hope you will settle my worries and make me believe in my life ahead. Your presence is terribly missed and i love you!!
Love Ammu♥️-