you know that feeling when everyone tells you to come out of your head and start living in the reality,
and it's not easy for you to do it cause all your life you've lived inside scenarios you've created to convince yourself that you're happy,
cause the reality has been so harsh and cruel to you,
and now it's become a part of you to live inside your head cause the moment you turn to reality you get anxious beyond limits,
your scenarios once they're gone you feel lonely,
so lonely you could cry but then,
the reality is too scary for you to bear.
It's like a neverending loop,
where you're stuck and you don't know the way out of it,
although it hurts you like a dagger

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I search for a home that's mine,
I too am tired of running, 
Running away from what feels like a cage,
The weight of my wounds shattering me down,
But I only have shelters, 
Temporary shelters, 
I run again,
Away from this maddening crowd,
Searching helplessly for a home,
A home I can call mine,
Arms I can run to,
Cause I too am tired of running. 

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The broken pieces of glass scattered on the floor laughed at me as they said,
"you're more broken than we could ever be "

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Sometimes I wonder who is more happy,
The fake me or the real me.

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I wandered around the dark lanes,
The ones I thought I would never visit again,
But the dark creatures dragged me here,
As I tried to escape,
The creatures crawled behind me,
Dragging me deeper into the darkness,
I cried for help but there was no one around,
Just a few dark smiles danced in front of my eyes,
I cried for help,
But the creatures dragged me deeper,
Deeper into the darkness.

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I took my feelings and burned them like dry leaves,
I walked away but the ashes carried by the wind of thoughts followed me through the road.

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Someone who treats your heart as a treasure is the one who deserves it.

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Hard to define,
A room full of people and I feel lonely,
Those secrets I have buried deep inside,
They make me feel lonely,
All the dark times when I wipe my tears alone and stand up again,
I feel lonely,
Those times I buried my head in the pillow and cried,
They make me feel lonely,
Those times I look around me and find myself standing alone,
I feel lonely,
The times I look at my grandma's picture and miss her,
Yes,
I feel lonely.

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I would take you out on a date,
A date just for the two of us,
Where we walk together smiling through the lanes of north Kolkata,
We eat phuchka together laughing at eachother,
We jump like kids while we see the icecream vendor ringing his bell,
We click funny pictures together as I keep the polaroid inside my diary,
We take a walk down college street holding hands as the smell of books makes us beam with happiness,
We watch a soothing movie at Nandan as our heart sings for eachother,
We go to Victoria to have a small happy conversation under the shade of a tree,
We go to Saint Paul's cathedral as we silently pray for eachother,
We look at eachother and smile with eyes so full of love,
And as we watch the sunset together I slowly whisper to you the lyrics you love the most,
Looking into eachother's eyes we drown into eachother's smiles,
Yes I would live all those little moments of love and joy with you,
Just the two of us.

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When the person you love the most repeatedly makes you hate them with their actions,
When they break you everytime you trust them,
When they hurt you everytime you fall,
When they show you they don't deserve your love,
That's when the toughest battle enters your life,
The battle that arises inside of you,
The battle that you've to fight with yourself every single moment,
The battle of desperately wanting to trust and love them,
while the only option you're left with is hating and never forgiving them,
That's the battle that tears you apart.

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