My last day of college
left me lingering
between accomplishment
and agony, which I never knew
can exist in a way.

I wear my uniform
for one last time,
the rough piece of clothing
that once itched against my skin
today feels soft, it's as if
we both have embraced
each other, once and for all.

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Have you ever felt alive?
like you can feel the air
passing through, filling your lungs
your heart beating fast
and a sense of ease in mind
For me, it's only been on days I write.

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Faraway, lies a field of sunflowers
I once planted, one for every wish I had.
Some bear cheerful faces,
while others turned yellow from heat.
I walk amidst my field of dreams
searching for the the one
I planted in your name

The sky changes it's color
as has my life with passing breaths
I realise, some dreams of early years
are like fleeting clouds, they don't stay
On the side, my heart wishes the ones
cheerfully blushing at the sun,
be the one I planted in your name.

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What are thoughts for
if not preserved
what is love for
if not suffered

Pinning for happiness
is numbing your
desire to be.

Let your heart
be pierced, check
what leaks out -
if it's words,
you're alive
if it's blood,
you survived.

-

There are a few things, taught
and a few things, not
On days when wind passes
through strands, fringes of my hair
thoughts play in my mind.

I think about how as learning
to mix colors on pallets
We have mixed our shades
trying to become the perfect color
To paint the canvas infront.

I think about how other colors
hide themselves behind the 7
forming a rainbow and how naturally
as a frown draws out in the sky,
we smile.

(In caption)

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Winter breeze makes love
with coconut tree right outside
my window, at times,
wrapping the tall,
slender body in its arms,
other times leaning in to kiss hard.
The tree bears tender coconuts,
like bosoms with all pride
and pinnate leaves sways
to the whistles of cold breeze
keeping me awake all the while.

-

Once again, the year
gulps down another day
exhaling an aftertaste that
stays stuck in my throat

Every daylight splits
the world into two -
one half pinning for the past
and the other gasping for breath

While my life is an unmade bed,
with dreams asleep in between
the lines of bed linens.

Wishes, disarrayed
tossing and turning from
the dull roar of an extinct life.

-

On my desk lies "Tuesdays with Morrie"
I find something unique in
melancholic movies and books
they are always my first choice
and a frail regret.
I pace slowly to not be pulled into
unconscious waters and crumbling insecurities
Circling around and tethering me into pieces
Throwing me on the floor,
drenched in the sadness of a loss,
I often forget, I vicariously lived.

To the world "Tuesday's with Morrie"
is a memoir but to me it's more
of a love shared between
a student and his professor
You can blame me for
tying everything with love
Perhaps that's a problem I have
to look for love in the tiniest of things,
pile up everything and make it
Out of proportion
for love is no osmosis process
but a star burst that scatters one
into tiny, shiny, beautiful pieces.

(In caption, continued)

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He has a chivarolous smile
that melts my heart
like butter on toasted bread
I gollop his french style scrambled eggs
with a sip of chamomile tea
as he sits across the table,
telling stories about his new job
and all I can see is his smile
that stays constant thorough out.

He pauses to ask me,
"What are you smiling for?"
I reply, "Cheese over cream
and oregano over white pepper"
"Ya, that's the way I like" he said

I take a moment and realise
It's always been his
over mine that he preferred.
He breaks the silence
persuading me, for another serving
I smile nodding a no.

Am I full? How could I be
I bid my hope, a goodbye
My desires, scattered
like the breadcrumbs on plate.

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