Does it ever end?


Is it the misery?
that burns me alive,
or is it my own mind
begging to cross the line.

It drifts in and out
a ghost in my head,
ruining the hope
for the miracles unsaid.

The thought betrays me
slowly and briefly
craving for an escape
that won't numb me deeply.

Now, here I am
shredding my worth
like a hollow tree,
whispering to the dirt.

Death, Death, Death
why don't you come
and take me away
pull me past this burn
if i have a say.

but i never have a say
because silence wins anyway.

-

The urge to see the world
sets my skin aflame
but this universe begs me
to leave it in shame..
~

-

I should burn
for wanting things
not for me
but from me.
~

-

will you listen to me,
when my heart will bleed?

no, you won't.

you'll only listen,
when you think you'll succeed.


~

-

I don't want to be seen
it's shameful,
disastrous,
wrecking havoc within.

I want myself on a display
not for you to see me,
see me as a whole
but only when you hear me.

Yes, I long to be heard
to be felt and seen,
like a twinkling star
only never as obscene.

Have you seen me?
alive in my skin,
shredding my conscience
only to be overcome by this sin.

Sin that wasn't mine
yet it screamed as one,
crawling like snakes in my mind
it slithered slowly like none.

It took the space
it craved my sane,
the apprehension i felt
was just as mundane.

It couldn't be sad,
it shouldn't be bad,
was i supposed to yell
or it just became a cruel hell?

-

Anhedonia

She was suspended
in a moment of anhedonia,
trying hard to weave through
yet it consumed her like mania

a cloak hovering above
quelling her feelings for long,
the dam trying to burst
asking her to see through this fog

The fog never faded
it held on to its dear life,
digging its claws in her mind
she reined it all inside

How Why When
she screamed in a haze,
unraveling in the threads of enouement
she let it all out unfazed

the gravity of her essence,
the urgency of her emotions,
the finality of her situation,
made no sense nonetheless

But what did to her even
she was clueless in this mist,
feeling a deep sense of hiraeth
she let herself embrace it all amidst.

-

My heart speaks to her
in anguish,in despair,
no matter what
it'll always seek her.

I love her smile
the way her eyes shine,
the way she sparkles
it's an honour to call her mine.

I want to look at her
in every possible way,
even if it's the last thing I do
I'll meet my end this way.

She is looking at me now
she always looks at me,
but whenever I call her
she pretends to not see.

I love her sweet voice
she used to sing for me,
I still want to hear it
but she never speaks to me.

I am sitting beside her now
alone yet I feel her with me,
it doesn't matter what they say
I'll always love you like you loved me.

-

She was smiling
broadly,
trying extremely hard
but losing all her charm.

Closing her eyes
she chanted to be saved,
to feel wanted once
just not like someone who failed.

She was coming around
opening her eyes,
wanting to breathe a little
but only stared back at another eyes.

Everything stood still
felt almost as if,
a figment of imagination
yet, she couldn't breathe.

She was still staring
brown set of eyes looking back,
a question wanting to appear
but only able to stood back.

A face she never saw
eyes so beautiful almost blinding,
amidst of her trance like state
she was aware of his face; smiling.

She smiled back
for the first time genuinely,
a wave of calmness rushed inside
and he kept smiling lovingly.

-

Love..

They say love is hopeless
A wastage of time,
Making a person senseless
Heinous like a crime.

But they never met you
The human form of love,
The colour of my grey life
Nothing can ever go above.

You feel like home
Where my heart stays,
Your smile is enough
To make my heart sway

Are you real, my love?
Since you are so sweet,
You are quirky yet special
Almost like a surprise treat.

Love, love, love
A word to an eternity,
Too small for something
But You make it feel worthy.

-

A new day approached
carrying life afresh,
where you'll live again
without an ounce of stress.

Like the sun above showering us
with nothing but brightness,
leaving us only content
amidst all these darkness.

We are just too afraid
to feel the pleasure in life,
where we can believe again
that everything is alright.

That night has ended now
with a remark to start anew,
leaving all those things behind
that will only make us rue.

A beginning of a journey
an ending of the endless pain,
a life with everything but chaos
finally making it all peaceful again.

-