September 13, 2020; 1:06

I switch on air conditioner
on my rainy days
and intentionally set the lowest
possible temperature
until my body, inside the thin
shroud of a blanket,
shivers with cold, hoping that
it would at least distract
if not alleviate the pain
that makes my heart quiver
and rain

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September 12, 2020; 16:26

I bloom like a flower
when you caress the tip of my bud
with your delicate fingers.
You, curious like a novice gardener,
to witness,
what more I can unfold,
remove your fingers and wait,
unaware that it's mere your touch
that opened me up.

And I,
unable to shrivel back into a bud,
dying for your touch,
expand my wings so much
that they start falling,
in the hope that at least they would
land on the lap of your fingers
and feel your touch
one last time before they
say goodbye.

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September 10, 2020; 3:31

there are pangs of pain
in my heart right in this moment,
something I am unable
to shove away,
of a separation I haven't
yet experienced

but it feels so real-
the loss of love and happiness,
cause of reasons that never existed
or perchance they actually did,
in relations, not similar,
but different

do you follow me?
or is it something one feels
only when they have
been enlightened
and how will you ever know
what enlightened me

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September 9, 2020; 2:57

I often think how it would feel
to drown in the sea

how it would feel to the legs
to not find the land they so inattentively
but out of habit seek
how it would feel to float in the water
as if one were flying in the sky
how it would feel to have a desire
to walk on water but being
pulled by it into its mysterious depth
how it would feel to fight
the force and find land serving
itself to rest the legs on everytime
as the loyal servant
how it would feel to lose all strength
how it would feel to be betrayed
how it would feel to be not able
to find hopes of staying alive

I often think how it would feel
to suffocate and die

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// Random musings //

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Humma di♥️

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All I ever wanted to be
was a metaphor
dipped in alliteration.

All I became is an irony
coated with sarcasm.

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Bye? Goodbye?

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सितारों से उलझ गया मैं,
एक सितारा बनने के लिए।
सितारे इस कदर उलझे मुझसे,
की एक सितारा बन कर रह गया मैं।

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