Now that we are friends..

..you tell me about your pregnant girlfriend,
your struggles to provide a nice home for your future family,
about how happy you are..
and I encourage you,
hoping that you found what you were looking for.

..I tell you about my inspiring new job,
my struggles to express my creative talent,
and about how happy I am..
and you encourage me,
hoping I will find what I am looking for.

And then I go home and wake up in the middle of the night,
lasersharp images of us flashing before my eyes,
longing for the connection we had so intensely I can hardly breathe.
And I wait for the morning,
for sleep to kick in and make me forget.

Meeting your soulmate does not always mean happily ever after,
and I wished life had spared me this.
I would have been so happy..
ignorant, but in bliss.

- Alexandra