I met you again at the bar, one night before new year's eve.
I was shocked at first, but then remembered how much I have grown since we met, and I calmed down.
And our dance started again.
You coming closer, the room between us, you talking, my friends with yours.
All the same, but then I realized that the invisible bond between us had been lifted, and I could move freely, happy to have left behind the time when I missed you so much I could have screamed.
I felt safe, full of peace and love from a distance.
I felt free.
I want to see you again, you said, and I hesitated. Am I making a mistake?
Of course not, my friends said, there are no second chances.
And I hugged you, before we were leaving, and you didn't let go as you used to do.
And I didn't let go as I used to do.
And suddenly I remembered how we have been together, your back familiar under my hands,
and the wave of yearning rolled over me and crushed me to the ground.
Somehow I made it out of there.
And since that night I am wondering, was it a mistake to leave?-
you were talking a lot.
skillful. subtle.
full of analogies and smiles.
the only thing I understood
was the big No
between your words.
again and again,
in different forms and shades.-
my house is safe.
my family is safe.
my friends are safe.
but you are not safe.
so you need to leave.
now.-
I am not a warrior.
I am a sailor.
And I sail on the flow
of mind, body, and soul.
And music.
Always music.
-
i don't know
what went wrong;
i don't know
what is taking you so long.
everybody is trying
to come back to me,
except you.-
I thought
you were
running away
from me,
when all the time
you were running away
from yourself.
-
Did your forget
to live as well?
Shall I remind you?
Of joint dreams, golden clouds, and...-
And,
when you pass by my house,
do you still
look through the windows?-