Children from broken families can never be whole, someone who has been broken for so long can not be repaired, cause it's not just their heart, it's there soul that's strewen and if you touch them you will only bleed , everything is not supposed to be healed.

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It's hard to remember the last time you didn't feel like everything was falling apart, you weren't worried how would the next day start.
you didn't cry to sleep, or you lied to your mother about your well being

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When no matter how low it goes but he doesn't give up on you that love ......



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Sometimes I wish I was as bitchy as people think I am .

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Don't tell me you love me, I know it's hard but don't . maybe give hints and show and I might act like I don't know , we will still make memories to cherish and will look better than any couple In Paris but remember don't tell me you love me , i will bring you gifts and you will give me kisses , I will suprise you like in fairytale blisses. we will walk hand in hand to the sunsets we will touch the shore and run back to our homes but don't tell me you love me , we will lean in to each other , we will share our darkest thoughts , I will hug tighter when the lights are off but don't you ever tell me you love me .
because I don't want to love. it comes with forevers and I am looking for something rarer , i don't want you to hate me when I leave , I don't want to miss you everyday , I want to have something with you maybe for a while but I want it to be worth all the lies , all the tears you might shed the fights I might start and the broken hearts we will be left with .

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If my tounge works like music infront of you without wavering , you know you are something .
When my heart smiles brighter than my face when I see you , you know you are something .
If I can spill those secrets to you and do not regret it later than you know you are something .
And if you see me, being quiet giving you that tight smile and blank eyes , you know you lost everything .

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They touch me and I shiver , they think I am rude and fragile even quicker . I don't hug back and they take a step back . I call for them but they leave in rewind . A small thing for them and I worry over it like it's an elephantine. I get hyper but survive , and then they say she overemphasize .
They don't see you clinging to my back , they name you anxiety but I dread you like an evil entity.
They call me unapproachable Cause they don't know what you do to me is something they can't even imagine in nightmares.

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Everyday I make myself distant ,a little less attached , a little more friendly . No more complains just smile passed nicely . Not get affected from your lies and I try not to know your secrets . Wipe your tears without asking the reasons behind them . Smile is all I do cause
You won't see me cry you won't see me angry I don't suppress my emotions they just don't come out for people so easily specially the ones like you. And then they say I change . But I don't ,I just learn how much to hide and how much to show .

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You appear so happy that anyone would be jealous of you,of your happiness but you know what I am jealous of ?
Of your
Ability , ability to smile and pretend everything is fine .
Because unlike them I have the ability to read behind your eyes , and sometimes it's hard to believe that are they really so blind ?
It is so crystal clear you are broken to the core.
But I am afraid , afraid of letting you know that I can see past your act , I don't want you to doubt your ability of pretending you have perfected after all these years .
But maybe I should , I should let you know that I can see ,maybe I should give you a chance , chance to unreveal yourself and comfort in me before it's too late .

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I have said so much
and still there are
secrets hidden behind me .
I speak to much and
still my heart does not
let a single thing slip.
I told you so much
that you would believe
I have nothing left to say
and the funny part is
I am yet to begIn.

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