One day my mom asked me....
What is the reason you love other people too fiercely ?
I smiled and uttered,
Sometimes is that it still feels safer,
Safer than loving ourselves with the same ferocity.
Because if I get rejected by any random person,
Or sometimes I go through a mourning or breakup period with a foreseeable end and I reject myself .
Where 'll I go??
Where can your princess run??
Waking up every morning and facing myself time and again . Which is scary than anything else.

For me self-love is only possible when like-minded people surrounds me ,
Who respects my decision to stop hating myself .
Constant reminders of shortcomings or imperfections are toxic to my worth and self-image.
And it doesn't make sense.

I appreciate all the blessings people have for me ,
For me Self-compassion is all about relating myself kindly;
Understanding that I'm human.
I'm going to make some mistakes,
I'm going to have a few wobbly part.
I'm going to sabotage things that are good for me ,
Because I'm human
We're human; is all.

So they help me to love myself enough to know my worth.

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As I walked along and away from everything,
I kept myself remember about the hills,valleys and down within me,
I can fell those oceany deapth of my thoughts,
Reminiscing the freedom ,impartiality and openness of the space and those sky within me,
And those placidity and gratefulness for the earth beneath ,
And finally I found the calmness and peace I was seeking for,
That's how I released myself from the cage of my past.

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With you all the small moments are special.
Life is not going to be full of heart throbbing thrills and non-stop adventure, but when it slows down,
I know I can sit with you,
Talk with you,
or hold you in my hands,
and still feel free like
I'm going 1000 miles an hour.......

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It has always been you,
I want the love that goes through thousand years and never gives up,
The love that comes from a great friendship,
The love that can go through the hard times and still bounce back because of its depth,
The love that can stay strong thousand of miles apart,
The love that can take being universes apart and still be in love,
That can take death and still love each other
I HAVE that love
#subhu🖤

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Does it still hurt?

You ask me. Yes it does

If I stop nurturing you
If I refuse to see the pain
If I bow down to judgement
If I compromise..

It hurts. As a rheumatoid arthritis warrior.
Or as a person who is completely healthy.

It'll always hurt if I ignore you...🍁

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My stars,
They aren't twinkling today
They have also left my side.
Even though I was promised,
That I'll have their light
But alas!
Promises are meant to be broken.

Now all there is left for them to do
Is to rip me apart, and I lay naked
Unholy, on the cold ground.
And so, the soul is leaving today
Without sky, clouds moon and stars by it's side,
The wilting flowers and decaying leaves
Beside the graveyard,
Is the only place left
To search solace.

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"Send my corpse those white jasmine flowers.
Send me a note,and for the very first and last time,
tell me I was worth it.
Do me this favour and even if my soul doesn't rest in peace ,
it will find a reason to stay wandering.
The motionless death is a necessity.
Not the death of a soul.
If you are 'the chosen seed',
Would you let my soul breath?"

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When the night feels never ending
And the song playing on your Spotify gets noisy
When the "one last shot" becomes your tenth
Yet the pain in your heart just doesn't end.
When the life feels like just a rush
And graduating, getting a job and having bank loaded in the only thing that defines your status
When your parents advice gets your mind boggling
And the voices in your head gets louder
When your future seems uncertain and you almost feel like quitting
Could I hold your heart and sing you a melody?
Would you let me in and tell me your secret?
Would you cry on my shoulders and tell me that you're not okay
Could I be a part of your treacherous nights
And your worst day?
If only you would, we could do it together
You and I against the world.

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I know that one day....
The BRAIN TUMOUR will kill me ....
One day I'll die..

But this disease is just a formality for me, because I am already dying due to pain, love, tears, memories, suffering.....

It kills me everyday...
I am not afraid of my death ..
I am not afraid of any disease ...
Because I am not alive from inside...

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They talked again after
years and months of silence,
They became polite and smiled at each other
Exactly the way that stranger do.

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