Nights terrify me.
The deadly silence
Harrowing thoughts,
Memories of the lost,
Vanity of being,
Stand stout.

Fear, shame, guilt, regret
Crawl out
From the borrows
One by one
Eating away the peace.
Sleep
All vigilant
Observing the harassment,
Chooses not to participate.

-

As I see,
I feel pain.
As I think,
I am exhausted.

Brimming flaws,
Overpowering obstacles,
Evaded emptiness,
are awaiting my encounter.

I dodge,
I pretend to ignore,
Can’t escape.

So I walk in to it,
The whirlpool of nothingness.
The indefinite uncertainty.

They welcome me,
Began to devour
In ceaseless turns.

I stare
Into the void.
They got me.

-

I am a multitude of things.
Engroged breast,
Torn and stitched vagina,
Episiotomy that refuses to heal,
Tumultuous hormones,
Rampaging rage,
Insatiable hunger,
Stubborn stools,
Period rashes,
Bum boils,
Sleep scarcity,
Lost identity.
Nothing of me is good enough!

-

Her fragility scares me.
I am too terrified to treat her well.
Her intelligence is astonishing.
My Oblivion is horrifying.
I see the see-saw of us.
She is so sacred to be harmed.
I don't want anything to befall on her.
I want safe experienced hands to care for her.
But can I trust anyone?
Every time she comes to me with hungry eyes, my heart melts.
Sleepless nights doesn't terrify me,
But she does.
I don't know why.

-

The consensual consummation
yields produce.
The nature's way.

Who is responsible for the offspring?
Who gets to cater to all its needs?
The initiation of the blame game.

Jeopardizing the career,
Putting all that at stake.
The irrevocable alteration.

Physical disfigurement,
Mental apprehension,
Few among many.

Procreation is the purpose of life.
Million predecessors.
Regardless, you are welcome.

-

The forgotten love,
Unkept promises,
Secretive ogles,
Joyful errands,
Scrumptious food,
Ravishing rendezvous,
Midnight calls,
Cheesy cuddles.

Unkempt memories,
The insinuating insults,
Fits of rage,
Moments of uncertainty,
Uncalled depression,
Denied defense,
Destroyed individuality.

As they battle over one another,
The adamant night
refuses to pass by.

-

“Get out!” The familiar voice screamed.
I wanted to.
But where to?
I can't stay.
At a new place,
Different language,
Expensive city,
What am I to do?
I was working,
Hardly I developed acquaintances.
I gushed out,
I neither had money nor phone.
I walked.
Walked endlessly.
Walked away my sorrows and insults.
Leaving the comfort zone for a stranger
Can demand a huge price.
After hours of deliberation and speculation,
I had to come back.
Just because, I can't go anywhere else.

-

Contaminated emotions
ooze out
at every possible vent,
stealthily and seriously.
There is peace,
during emancipation.
Straight as an arrow from a bow,
aiming to reach its target
unfalteringly.
Unaware of its consequences,
Unbothered by its repercussions,
the concealed emotions
outpours itself
stealing every possible moment.

-

Jobless?
Lump of flesh to be fed?
Yet another addition to the list of existing yet useless things?
A baggage of burden?
Vulnerable to everyone's accusation?
Easily ignored?
Too inferior to voice out?
Crippled mentally?
Feeling extinct?
Vanished self respect?
Penniless? Guardless?
Forsaken? Unloved?
well, you are not alone.
I am in your club!
Cheers to more miserable days!

-

In wrath
I burn like a star.
Set anything and everything at blaze.
The moment passes.
I look down at the embers,
that doesn't gratify me.
What have I made myself into?

-