Me and me.

All i know is that -
It's getting noisy -
That cacophony is eating me up -

It has become a battle between 'me' and 'me' -
Even i don't understand -
How can i expect somepne else to -

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Healing.

I thought it left me -
Finally -

But suddenly i realised -
It was there all the time -
Working on me silently -

All these days -
It was busy making itself strong -
And i was busy making myself more vulnerable -

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Insomnia.

When the whole world is engulfed by sleep -
I am engulfed by insomnia -
It sits near me -
And orders me to over think-
The entire night -
Overthink - like - "i'm a nerd", "i lack courage", "i am dumb", "i am nothing pretending like everything", and "i am scary type of kinky that no one likes" and....................

The clock shows - 3:15 AM -
I am still engulfed by Insomnia -

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I am not going towards emptiness -
The emptiness is coming towards me -
And before anyone realises, i am already engulfed by that emptiness -

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I am 'the type' -

I am the type that procrastinates alot -
Procrastinates to the point where i start living in my procrastinated land -
I am the type that will get angry for nothing -
It's for nothing but at the same time for everything as well -

I am the type that'll laugh and cry for little things -
You can call me highly sensitive but that's what i am -
I am the type that'll over think the whole night -
Then wake up next morning with dark circles like nothing happened -

I am the type that's super-super possesive -
Like if anyone touches even smallest of my belongings that human is screwed for an eternity -
I am the type that wouldn't want anyone to mind it's business -
And at the same time i don't mind anyone else's business either -

I am the type that boasts to be good at talking -
Then keeps getting anxiety attacks when in person -

And above all i am the type that likes - silence, silence and a 'HUGE SILENCE'.

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A resolution to live.

I've spent more than half of my life in thinking if living was a good option -
In doing so i've lived without actually living -
Starting this year(2022) - i've decided to LIVE every breath of my life -
And that's my resolution -

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What does anxiety feels like?

What does anxiety feels like, you ask -
Well it feels like -
There is so much of air around you, which is not meant for you -
The air hates you and hates to get inside of you -
And you just stand there, wishing for a breath -

What does anxiety feels like, you ask -
Well it feels exactly like -
There are pieces of glass in your hands -
And instead of throwing away the glass, you put it in your mouth -
Munch it while it cuts you and you swallow it -
It passes down through your throat cutting every thing inside of you -

That's exactly what "Anxiety" feels like -

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We are now just a fragment of imagination -
Nothing more than imagination -
Nothing more than a fragment -

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My kind of feminism doesn't have agenda -
It has an Agendum -
"Treat humans as humans" - 🌼

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Save - can you?
Safe - are you?

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