LOVED

Caught a glimpse of her,
Brought back a flash of memories,
Time with her was the time of my life,
Love like that happens once in a lifetime,
I am just doing time,
She fills my heart with warmth and softness,
Was a time when togetherness was happiness,
She was a person of her own and so was I,
We melted when together,
Frozen are those memories,
Warms and flows through my eyes,
Do I close them to be with the memories?
Or play hide and seek with these chance glimpses?
She’s more mine now than she would have been,
There’s little difference in having loved and lost,
With being deluded.

-

GROW ALONE

Dug a burrow,
Isolated from what,
To be warm to whom?

Enveloped by cold,
Wrote my journals,
To witness my growth.

I want to heal,
From my injuries,
I meditate upon them.

Distance grows,
Indifference calms,
Detached delusion brews.

I am doing only as much as I can.
You want to be in?
What are you doing more than you can?

People drop off,
I am at the center,
Of my world.

-

When we interact with another person that’s a whole thing in itself. It consumes us, if we let it. In such a consumed state there are moments where we escape reality. Not by intellect, but by experience. This flight, sometimes, lands us in a zone where only the both of us exist. In this zone, we are able to feel the other’s feelings within us. When the other has an anxiety attack, even your chest collapses. When the other is going through an emotional upheaval, you feel it too. That zone of experience is invaluable. To feel another person inside oneself. To know that the other person is inside us. It is intense. It can wreck you or make you. Either way, you are better off. Many people go through life without any experience of intensity. If you are getting to this zone with someone, jump right in. Even the mess in this zone is better than the air of freedom outside of it.

-

THROUGH

Lying down staring at the ceiling
I thought to myself, “what am I doing?”
Why is there so much pain?
At times, pain is all there is.

Daze makes the din louder,
Everything seems far away,
Is the ceiling receding or floor falling?
How did I get to this moment?

The moment slips the moment I ask,
How does one stay in it?
I have been there before,
The way back seems closed.

What lies ahead seems an impossible struggle,
The only way is through.

-

NO

Once I hear,
Twice I think,
Stays awhile.

Twice I hear,
Worries me,
Am I alright?

More it happens,
Doubt creeps in,
What’s wrong with me?

-

TIME

I watched it go by,
As I cried,
Why me.

Told to take control,
I wondered,
When I lost it.

I introspect,
In the chaos,
It stares at me.

“Where to?”, I ask,
“Nowhere”, it tik-tok’ed,
“What’s the point?”

“None whatsoever”, as it faded away,
“You never stop though, do you?”
Silence echoed.

-

I dreamt I was writing
the letters set the paper on fire

Realisation rained,
passion survived,
calmness pervades.

-

LOVE

You were in my heart,
I thought you were it.

It could hold you,
but not your absence.

My heart was never mine,
it was with me only to hold you.

When it doesn’t have you,
it seeks you.

Seeking kept it going,
finding fulfilled it,

Losing lost itself,
lifeless.

-

THE END

If you knew how it would end,
would you do things differently?

Would you want to paint the end
with the colours you are exuding?

How does knowing the end
change the way you are?

If the end scares you
would you rather end it now?

or embark on a journey towards fearlessness?

-

If the heart is kind, that’s the highest level the brain can reach.

-