“Near-Life Experience”

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Almost us

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I can’t sleep but I am not fully awake either,
my mind is in a complete mess and
my soul has given up on my faded hopes and
my heart is mocking my own restless state.

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Someone who won't mind the cracks.

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तू बारिश की पहली बूंद सी थी,
और मैं बंजर ज़मीन सा था…
तू सुबह की पहली किरण सी थी,
और मैं अंधेरों में सियाह सा था…

तेरे आने से यूं हवा सी चली,
मैं तरसता रहा, तू बरसती रही…
मैं शीशे सा बिखरता गया,
और तू धूप सी निखरती रही…

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I am constantly fighting with the ghosts of my fear
that a war has raged within me, for as long as I've known.
Now even if I win, I will still be a loser.

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maybe in another lifetime, I will find the courage to follow my heart,
may be in another lifetime, I will hold your hands not to let go,
may be in another lifetime I will hug you so tightly so that I feel your heartbeat forever,
may be in another lifetime I will love you, not just in the quiet corners of my imagination.
maybe in another lifetime... 🖤

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Every night, I scroll through my playlist, searching for one song that makes me feel better, brings me some respite from the chaos beneath my heart. But before I can find the right song and before endless echoes of thoughts stop bouncing in my mind, my morning alarm blows and reminds me that another sleepless night has passed.

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I have been continuously pulling myself out of darkness as life has been a rollercoaster lately except for the fact that this ride has, more or less, descents than climbs, yet one thing that has kept me all along this journey is my unwavering hope, hope not for everything turning into my favour but belief that whatever happens, i will always come out of it, stronger and better, no matter how dark it will be, i will find the light. 🔆

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They say that we can love only when we are, knowingly or unknowingly, empty inside and the space that is created
make way for love, but if those empty spaces, we didn't know existed, remains untouched and unfilled with love, will leave a void and that void will never let us fall in love ever again.

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