Who am I?

I am neither that bright child who has been fed with a silver spoon,,
Nor am I that hot-blooded teenager always looking to get into a ruckus as I was once..
Somewhere between the whites and black,, I am now a gloomy grey..
Just figuring things out as I go, Sometimes bright and hopeful, Sometimes dim and hopeless..
Sometimes balancing my love and hopes for someone,, sometimes keeping it aside and waiting for the right one..

Its just,, I am a grey balancing life's black and whites.

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The beauty of the person at fault won’t compensate for the losses of the one who has incurred them..
The way they pretend to be,, will not make up for the damages they did..

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Someone has rightly said that it's easy to survive a
heartbreak but most difficult to sacrifice your love.
Maybe Sometime we never know we would fall
for someone, and we do. But we don’t confess
not because letting them know would free up
ourselves from feelings or making them fall for
us but to save both of us from the guilt, one from the
guilt of having too much of feelings and other
having nothing to feel about.
They say it's good to express your feelings and let
other one know no matter what. But sometimes
we choose not to share, sometimes we cage our
feelings only to free the person we have it for.
Sometimes, we choose to battle alone not
because we can but maybe because we feel the
other one is too good as a person to be suffered.
There are times where we can love but we are not
destined to have it for a life time.
Maybe some carry a dictionary where love and
sacrifice are synonyms. Maybe sometimes we need
to be our own light house, guding the ship of our
feelings back to the port.
Maybe, that is love living for the one you love and
also leaving only and only for the one you love.

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An end to unfulfilled dreams,,
That winter appease & That cold breeze..
That extra five minutes in your warm blanket before you leave,,
The urge to end the journey before the world wakes..
Within the numbness of December,,
You’ve come when all the leaves are shredding..
When you’re too low to hold you,, too weak to hold you..
A month to say adios to all your aches,, farewell to all your heart breaks..
A full stop to chase unrequited being..
Let’s slow down the month..
And appreciate what we have..
Before we’re left with just a compulsion..

The month is here..!!

#stodgy_december

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*And a lot of times..*

And a lot of times I think I was cursed to be a moon on the sky,,
A celestial body forced to walk around the earth only during dark..
Waiting for its lover,, the sun in vain..
To get the strength and the shine in return of the unaccounted existence..
To return back to the darkness again when the world glares..
To return back to the silence again when the birds chirp..
To return back to the sleep again when the world awakes..

And a lot of times I think I was cursed to be a moon on the sky..!!

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Right person or wrong..??

There is no right person on this planet..
If you put your heart into something,,
Something inappropriate may become wonderful..
Nobody can ever find the right person..
It’s all about how we perceive,, how we look over things and person..
The first thing is to think whether I am the right person or not..??
If you understand that you have your nonsense..
They have their nonsense..
We can adjust..
Nonsense - Nonsense.. 😉

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I hope you would have understood by this time,,
That I'm not an easy person to be with..
I'm not always kind, especially not to myself,,
and lately I'm more like a broken poetry..
I don't flow in the right direction,,
and sometimes I hurt others when I don't mean to..
Now I hurt myself the most though..!!
I am loud and crazy and sometimes quiet and empty,,
Yeah I have been broken once,,
To the extent that I have started neglecting the good’s in me..
and I'm not what I promised I would be,,
because sometimes my mental illness
gets the best of me..
But relationships matter to me,,
And that’s the reason I give my best and my last breath to it.. ❤️

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You were an endless river,,
Unable to swim,, I sank..
You’re the moon of the sky,,
But it was I who waned,, not you..
In the midst of a forest,,
I lost all my ways..
Looking for the dame footprints everywhere,,
After disappointments,, I faded..
Because you were not just the beginning,,
You were the end too..

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It may be loud enough for you to hear it,,
It may be strong enough for you to feel it..
Because I know silence speaks beyond what words can,,
And I seek silence,, waiting for it to absorb me completely into it..
Creating a cocoon around me,, fighting like a larvae I want to break it down completely..
Struggling within to get free out of it completely..
To fly in the skies,, bestrewing around the triumph of ecstasy..
To move away to the place where people don’t feel the urge to fill up the gaps of silence..
But not now,, Because I know silence speaks beyond what words can..

#The_Chaotic_Though_Awkward_Silence

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Black.. 🖤


It talks about that journey of life that you had travelled when all other colours faded..
It taught you to believe in extinction of your own existence,, that even the best of the feelings of world is temporary..
It won’t allow other colours to even leave imprints on it,, it will captivate all..

It made you travel through the thins of life,, it already took you through the worst that even a diminutive light may give you the strength to stand and start again..

Love is black or black is love.. 🖤

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