40 and finished

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My smile hides my tears.
My laugh hides my screams.
But I wish I could let it free.
Let them know what's under.

Nobody really knows me.
They only know my cover.
It's been this way for years.
Things aren't as they seem.

I always seem so happy.
With not a care in the world.
But you should know, sadly
Many things go untold.


But instead, I practice
My smiles in the mirror.
Then the next thing I do is
Make my fake laugh clearer.

What is wrong? You need help?
Is all they will ask.
So I have decided
To live behind a mask .

-

People seem to often ask me one question -
" How you fell in love with him ? "

He never flirted with me, neither did he tried impressing me. He was always " himself " when he spoke to me. Also when he was training me it was normal. He didn't try to portray himself as a perfect individual. That's what hooked me. We were communicating every day, loved each other's presence, had lunch together, Tea breaks but hated the distance between us, and that's how slowly and slowly we fell for each other. He didn't try to hurry things up and that's what I loved about him. He was Generous, Kind, Humble, and also a little uptight but that all went away when he was with me. And today till date I still fall for him a little more every day because he's someone I would never want to lose.

ÉL ES EL AMOR DE MI VIDA,
PERO NO EN ESTA VIDA.

- BULBBUL

-

A fathers touch , A Daddy's kiss,
A Grieving daughter, U r greatly missed

An empty house, An empty chair,
A Father's love, no longer there.

A broken heart, A tear filled eye
Another soul to fill the sky

Many memories in my mind
Some I laugh, Some I cry

The times we shared, the laughs we had,
Things I miss when I think of you dad

Realizing that's all I have to hold on too
Only memories, of what once was you

Missing your laugh, I will never again hear
That is the reality that fills me with so much fear


No more smile on your face
No more warmth of your embrace


The last hug, The last kiss
The last 'goodbye' leaves me with one last wish.

To have you dad here today
Never to leave your daughter this way


A fathers touch , A Daddy's kiss,
A Grieving daughter, U r greatly missed .

-

IN MEMORY OF MY DAD...

If I could write a story
It would be the greatest ever told
Of a kind and loving father
Who had a heart of gold


If could write a million pages
But still be unable to say, just how
much I love and miss him
Every single day

I will remember all he taught me
I m hurt but I won't be sad
Because he will send me down the answers .
AND he ll always be my DAD...

I Love you DAD..

-

There were things you wanted to tell me
and there were things I was dying to say,
BUT
You were scared and my voice faltered
so we both sewed our lips and buried it
AWAY.

-

My soul made love
to your soul,
long before
our bodies met.

When I first
laid my eyes
on you,
I recognized you.

You held my future
in your hands...

-

Biting your tongue so words don't slip out.
The taste of copper , sharp in your mouth.
"Penny of our thoughts" - the saying goes ,
but they could never afford the words buried below .
Sentenced to silence,laid in unmarked graves,as u r slowly murdered by the things u don't say.

-

"Sometimes
I forget that unsaid sentences don't mean unfelt emotions .
That not everyone can, or will , or wants to spill it all out like me.
Sometimes
I forget that crossed arms doesn't mean keep away ,
but come closer ,
open them ,
be those arms crossed tight
and hold me the same. "

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