One thing I learned is that a woman’s guard can be the hardest thing to help let down especially if she’s strong will and independent!

-

For three weeks a rainbow appeared inside my room and on my walls, shining through my windows. It was the most enlightening experience. Each time the rainbow was more lighter, more beautiful and more colorful. I can see it on each wall in my room and on my ceiling. It turn my grin more higher and made me feel a sense of peace like God was watching me. As I think while I was watching the rainbow, I remember the promise God said in the Bible about why he created the rainbow. For it to appear inside my room it was like he was sending me a direct message to me of the promise he made to keep. I think that is the most beautiful thing about God because he knows when you just need his loving arms.

-

As I sit on my bed and I reminisce
I think about all the things that I have that gives me bliss
I watch my kids as they so peacefully sleep
I weep of joy because I know that my children is the reason I keep on
Through every season of this life I realize that it’s a blessing to be alive
Even though we go through many trials and tribulations
In this world filled with lack of love, lack of patience, lack of considerations
When I stare in the sky and look around from everywhere
I see all the beautiful creations and how the Earth doesn’t lack
I think maybe us as imperfect human beings we have gotten so wrapped into superficial things
That we don’t cherish whats right in our face
Just look around us, God has given us grace
When I go through the pain, make mistakes or when I just lose my way
I sit and pray
I think about all the miracles and beauty in life
All the impossibilities that have became possible for me
Even my dreams became a reality
I realize nothing is what it seems but everything is hope
Though when we have faith that we can be great
Then we know God made us in the most perfect way
Imperfectly perfect made to withstand many test
That’s when I knew I could rest

-

Pain is inevitable, but it feels so excruciating
Time keeps passing by, but my eyes filled with tears
Try to understand why I have to go through all this suffering
I don’t think anyone deserves to really feel the breakdown of our flesh, destroying us from the inside
Imperfect, we are so many flaws, so many traumas, so many scars
I rather live in between the stars
My body is so tired of feeling fatigued, weak, pain
I scream of agony but no one hears me
No one can save me as my body is aching
I pray to God for endurance, for resilience, for a little peace beneath things I face
I know that if I can handle this illness, then I can handle anything because what’s worse than this
Feeling the inside of my body on fire
Burning, stabbing me like a knife that’s engulf in flames
I cry, I scream, I laugh so that I don’t go insane
Yet, people think they know my life
They think they know my pain
They think they know everything but nothing at all
So when people want me to lose
They have to understand I’ve already lost so much in my life
So I can’t lose because I have nothing else to lose
So the only thing I can do is win, win, win again because I already go through enough pain within

-

I treated you like a Queen regardless of what you make people believe and I love you unconditionally past your flaws. I didn’t let your traumas dictate my love for you but your actions is what prove how your words had no meaning. I kept trying despite everything because I know love isn’t always sunshine and roses. I know we all make mistakes because imperfection tainted us all so we all can fall from grace. Though you took my love as something weak and stepped on it with your feet. I said to myself her guard is up because what woman doesn’t want to feel love and safe. I guess I was wrong to think that way because to you love is a game and I can’t win your heart within because it’s been torn apart from the start. I can’t fix what’s broken if you love to bask in the pain. So since my love isn’t enough to help you see that love isn’t meant to be that way then baby I’ll get out your way. I’ll let you do what you always do that’s play chess with someone’s chest to make them feel less so you can feel at your best. I’m done with your test I’m going to rest knowing I’m at peace because I know I gave love effortlessly only wanting your time, attention, affection, and love for free.

-

I watched the very person I gave my all to show everyone but me their all! So I think I know a little too well how a person can be inconsiderate of me but want me to be considerate of them!

-

People confuse attention, infatuation and validation for love and loyalty!

-

I notice people will do more for someone who never prove love and loyalty over someone who gave it unconditionally!

-

Sometimes you have to leave people lives because they forget that you are the blessings that brought them blessings!

-

I realized that even when you let someone go it’s so hard to get over them especially when you love them! When you really love someone it’s like your mind and heart is consumed by them! Though you accepted that’s it is best to move on you can’t unloved them no matter how hard you try to do it! It’s a crazy thing to feel!

-