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I hope the result isn’t a question on me

I try to remember the gaps in my days and re read everything to figure out where did this start.
Why Is it aching to look at my art?
I didn’t think it through before I promised to be with you
That I’ll have to love your friends before you.
so if you’re going to question me,
Question the times when I waited for you.
Question my sleepless nights and endless days. Question the poems i wrote for you and the way I smiled when i looked at you.
Question the way my heart was pumping when it was collecting the nerves to show you my love for the first time.
Loving you started feeling like giving an exam and my hands couldn’t stop writing until the paper reeked of all that was left in me.

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I’ll let go of the words you say
I’d rather fight with you.
I really want to stay.

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With everything that’s falling apart
and the world being hard to you.
I hope you find someone who builds you up.
who’s willing to do anything for you.
Something selfless and pure.
if you are gonna fall in love make sure
it brings you calm.
A love that doesn’t feel like a war.
A love that won’t question yours.

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I may not win the “i love you more fights” but god knows I’ve spent more nights with your sweater, to get tangled in your scent, My love.

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Where are the arms that hold me? I need you to touch me, right now. I might melt into your skin and forget how I don’t exist when you’re nowhere to be found. I have trust in you, so much faith in you. I’m collapsing with my eyes closed.
Where are the arms that hold me? Keep me safe with you.

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is it even possible to hold what i am holding? To turn this into a shape? I could break my spine and study it, it must be somewhere inside that aches. There is something longing beneath my tongue, it’s a bitter sweet feeling.
I know you have questions to ask about the metallic taste when we our kissing.

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WHAT IF
What if he sleeps with me but never dreams about me?

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