Year after year
As I grow in years
The guilt in my heart also keeps growing,
Flooding my soul whenever I
Think of all the times I
Spoke true but bad, sometimes bordering on
Ugly facts behind people's backs.
And oh! It was all the same to me
Be it front or back
Because as long as my facts were true
I didn't mind vomiting it all on their faces too.
How cruel!
How vile!
How petty was I!

-

It's a good thing to be melancholic
Sometimes
It makes you think
And gives you space for release
Of all that you had suppressed deep within;
The slightest of hurts or repressed desires or the loss unspeakable or wrath's fire.

But sometimes, mind you
Only sometimes.
For just like steak burned black or like milk adulterated loses its value
So will life lose its
If you lose control of melancholy's reins.

-

I might never vow again
Or make any such promises
As I made to you.
After all, having said it all and having meant it all
It all came to nothing
Except for the fact that I ended up being a fraud.
Yes, a fraud
That's who I call myself these days.
What good is a man if he cannot keep his word
Especially to the one whom he claims to have loved.

-

How do I reach out to you and not be mean?
It feels as if I'm using you, seeking your warmth,
Only in my moments of need,
So selfish.
What should I do to make it genuine?
What lines shouldn't I cross?
What intentions should I carry?
Because most of the time the lines are so blurry
That even in my seasons of need
Desperate need
I don't reach out.

-

Then you and me,
We would be
Dawn and dusk
Sandwiched between the bed and the blanket
Giggling, cuddling and making love
To complete the twenty four hours.

-

Our old flame
still burns silently in my heart
Hidden from the watchful eye of reason.
This flame, which we gave birth to
When we coalesced in secrets, dreams and stories,
Still hopes
Still believes
And thus is still striving, rebelling and planning a coup
To overthrow reason and crown you queen.

-

I orbit around you like Pluto around the Sun
Admiring your warm blazing grace
But too hesitant to come close like earth
And bath in your rays.
I rather stay far away and observe from a distance
It's okay if I'm not considered
A part of your solar system.
For as long as your light reaches me
And I can see your face
It doesn't matter how long it takes for the photons to reach me
It doesn't matter how cold it gets in the farthest orbit.

-

Twenty four hours × 'n' number of days,
Spent lying on my bed
Covered in black sheets
Wherein lies my back's imprint
Like fossil on a clay,
Are lost time forever gone
Squandered
Never to return
Leaving behind memories
I shall always regret.

-

A little more would have been better
A little longer, so much better.
A little more was all it would have taken
A little more from you
A little more from me.

Now gone all the little mores
That would have turned it all so different
They are precious moments lost
That would have made our love more vibrant.

A little more would have been better
A little longer, so much better.
A little more was all it would have taken
A little more from me
Just a little more from me.

-

I'm falling for you like flowers upon a grave
Death calls me
This is the end
There's no escape.
Oh! I know
This isn't my first time falling.
Every fall was so sweet
But sour were the endings.
And yet, here I am
Where I cannot stop this feeling
Condemned to death again
On my way to the guillotine.

-