People are influenced by those who are loud and not those who are right.

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Wedding vows should be updated like

“Do you promise to love and cherish him when he continues to watch loud videos on his phone after you’ve asked him to turn it down?”

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If looking cool involves the long hair that falls on my face and blocks my ability to see, I am cool with messy bun.

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Having kids means a lot of Disney movies ..
But kids get annoyed when you don't let them watch with you.

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Sometimes I feel like becoming a recluse.....
But then I wonder, will I get pizza if I do that???

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Me : Did you post that picture of us?

Him : Yeah.

Me: Before I looked at it?

Him : *deletes the post*

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I wish I was rich enough to buy snacks at an airport without a second thought.

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Me. : What do you want to do special on the last day of school?

Grandson : Not go to school?

Uh oh, not an option.

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We live in a world where apologies are more important than someone's viewpoint.

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I am not bad, I am just good at various depreciating levels.

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