Each night
I sleep with a knife
beside my pillow,
In anticipation
of my anxiety,
my demons
who come
crawling out as i
close my eyes,
and yet,
my hand shivers
each night
at the sight of them,
and i fail to do the task
assigned,
they use the same knife
to poke holes in me
and render me senseless
like i was a voodoo doll,
while my soul suffering inside
stayed mum and observed.

-

The last time
I had a breakdown,
you came visiting me
yourself,
instead of the demons
you usually send,
and said,
" I needed an excuse
to meet you,
I'm sorry to put you
through the turmoil,
I needed to guide you
towards the right path,
you were getting a bit foggy "

// Satan

-

Too afraid to sleep,
Too afraid to stay awake,
It's the dead of the night,
and I can feel, the silence ache.

I tremble,
I faint,
paint the insides of my mind,
with the color of restraint.

Oh,
Let me sleep,
Or let me cry;
Let me atleast,
stay sane for one night.

-

I wasn't the daughter she raised me to be anymore, and she was fine with it.

[ Caption ]

-

A myriad of emotions
come into existence,
like my pain
is a mother
of all chaos in this coexistence.

* caption *

-

It's easy as a pie
for you to say,
"Hey you,
dont die"

// caption

-

I talk about my depression
like people talk about their pets,
memories of me losing my shit,
and the struggle of getting back
on my feet,
depression is no longer an enemy,
it's like an estranged friend.

-

It's been days
since I had my last panic attack,
but today,
I feel the same
gut wrenching,
mind shattering,
and soul emptying
feeling again,
why?
I thought
I was finally
getting over it,
getting over my 'disease',
why do you have to creep up
on me from the shadows
and drag me to that
hell hole again,
why,
I plead you with tearful eyes,
please,
please,
just please,
leave me be,
I wanna see the sunshine,
not your rotten cloudy sky.

-

*Tears*


// full poem in caption

-

Depression strikes
when you least expect it,
it hits you outta nowhere,
kicking you in the gut
and
blowing the wind outta your lungs.
And now,
it's not a disease,
it's just another day for you.

-