End in the beginning

Pain from this one wound
would neither deaden nor diminish
It courses through my veins,
twists my stomach into knots.

Hadn't I just stumbled upon you?
The saddest, most awful truth is
our union was concise.

I fail to distinguish between
guilt, madness and sadness.
In my beginning is my end

-

I have dressed my wounds
with all your flaws.
Miraculously,
I see my healing scars.
A bandaid you are
to my worst of pains.
Oh! within me
life sustains.
Now i can't walk
through this dark
Alone-
Stay.

-

What is silence? Blinding light at one end and vicious darkness at the other.
All you see or feel is nothingness making your heart beat even louder to an extent where you feel it on your finger tips, in your ears and your head.
Hateful silence. It seeps into your pores dowsing your mind in its thick toxicity. You feel like a prey though there's no predator.
Absolute stillness. Like fall leaves under frost.

Silence like unnatural void, refusing to be filled to prolong your suffering.

-

I refuse to lay bare my empty self
for people to stuff it
with their foolish assumptions
and mockery.
Braced up, I conceal all marks of grief and worries
thrusting my thoughts
into the depths of me -
like an iceberg; with real feelings submerged
to an extent where agony seeps
from the corner of my eyes.
Yet, I'll turn away my head
not to hide the tears
but to soften the fact
of their absence.

-

Walls

The worst thing I could do to myself
was built walls around me,
leaving no passage
for the rain and shine.
And yet,
the best thing I did to myself
was built walls around me
blocking out what
traumatized my soul and
harmed my heart.
Behind these walls I have
length of time to figure out
enough reasons to love myself
before I appear from within
the majestic walls into the wild.

-

You are blinded by
false hopes and expectations
until you find yourself
walking down an empty street
painted white-silver by moonlight,
with buildings silhouetted against
the dark star-freckled sky.
You feel your heartbeat in your feet
while your whole body is numb.
A gush of cold wind reminds you;
You are all by yourself
as were you in the beginning.

-

Of power and faith

Under the clouds of anger
surrounded by ghosts
of depression and anxiety,
you choose to be happy.

Power it is.

The world seems to fall apart
when you're closest to a breakthrough.
Folks falsify and demons terrify
yet you believe in virtue.

Faith it is.

Faith and power together-
a union of love and life.

-

Sweet repentance

The day I repented
I was led out of the dark web
made of sins
that I committed all along.
I was given way
like rain pouring onto thirsty ground,
like butterflies coming out of their cocoon,
like divine sunlight enveloping earth
and the beloved blue moon.

-

Blank book

There on the shelves
the books waited-
Half consciously my hands
reached that one blank book.
Here it is, the dangerous moment
I suppose when I need to grow
out of my acts and my evasions,
out of my fears
and out of my moments of courage
and write my own story.
Here it is, the dangerous moment
when life takes a new slant
in its journey towards death.

-

Psychotic creatures

Humans are terrifying,
psychotic and monstrous,
standing on the verge of violence
waiting for the world to snap.
Grudges, dark thoughts, anger
and what not;
all ready to give one good push.
We, the humans, would stand
on a nearly broken branch
yet anticipate someone else's fall first.

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