Who am I in your eyes?
Why do you ask me this question when you know I don’t have an answer ?
I am not your friend or beloved.
Why do you want to see me when you know it will only make things worse?
Why do you come to meet me wearing my favourite colours?
Does wearing the same colours make you happy because people think we're partners?
I felt like I was holding the reason for my existence when you held my hand yesterday.
All I could see were your eyes and your smile, as if time had stopped.
Our memories began to flood in,
Was your experience similar?
Because of our social standing, you had to let go.
The same question is raised once more;
Who am I in your eyes?
There is one pain I frequently experience that I will not discuss.
It is caused by your absence.
Do you feel the same?
What we are and who we are, are questions for which I have no answers; but for a brief amount of time, the mingling of heartbeats and laughter is my holy place.
You kept staring at me,
As if you were looking for us.
It would have been better if we hadn't met.
I'll be exactly where you left me yearning and you'll go far.

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To the one who didn’t stay,

Your favourite singer’s page still shows up on my feed. I still don’t know all his songs but I remember how you used to laugh every time I sang the wrong lyrics. After you left I’ve spent a few hundreds of 2 am midnights wondering why I wasn’t enough. I’ve called in a few sick afternoons so that my heart could be distracted and put to sleep. I dressed up many nights and let all of my friends turn therapists over mugs of beer. This evening, sipping coffee out of your cup and watching the stars in your city where we last met made me realise how you always wanted me in parts. Never all of me and how I tried fitting all that I am into the crevices that you offered. I understand that I was never not enough but much more than just enough. I am finally knowing what it feels like to be my whole self with all my parts sutured firmly. I’m learning to grow out of dark crammed rooms & to breathe through my scars.

With love,
Your Sunshine

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On days like this
When I'm surrounded by a lot of people, I think a little more about you, I write a little more about you,
On days like this when it rains I cry a little more for you

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It was my choice to love you, but was it necessary for you to destroy me?

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When I sat down to string my feelings into a poem
The blank paper stared back at me
Was I short of words ?
Or
Was I short of feelings?

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How did you realise ?
The same person who falls for books poetry and flowers
The one who finds magic alluring
The one who craves for stardust and chases moonlight
Did not find you worthy enough to be loved

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Things I need to confess :
I love a man who can never be mine.
I love him so deeply that even he can't deny.
I want to live with the love I have & I want to take it to the grave with me.
I don't want him to know about my love for him.
I'm ready to get heart broken a thousand times for his happiness.

- 25/12

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I'm ready to be heart broken a thousand times for his happiness.

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Love at first sight,
Heart skipping beats,
Fairy tales & Happily ever after,
Getting heart broken to such an extent where death looks easier than breathing,
I never believed in them;
Some how you made all of it possible.

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Maan liya maine
Maan liya maine ke tere waade juthe the sare,
Jhutha tha tera woh muskurahat bhi,
Main to yunhi doob gayi teri aankhon ki gehrayio mein,
Mujhe kya pata ke iss ishq ke nagar mein log rasto ke saath apna humsafar bhi badal lete hain

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