When a heart breaks,
do the broken pieces arrange
like voronoi noise-
each competing
for more space?

I was once hurt
by a shard of glass.
It feels familiar now
in each part of my heart.

There is no rhythm to this writing I realize.
This is a broken poem.

-

Need for nostalgia

There has been a backstreet boys concert on Instagram, and also in some city. As much as I would like the opportunity to say something cynical about it and rest my case- I feel my brain just melted at the thought of backstreet boys. I liked their music because, given the music I was able to listen to at that time in my life- I liked it quite a bit. Incomplete.

I remember sitting on a sofa in dadu didun’s house. Whenever I would reach their house on the floor below ours, I would bellow “pouchegechi” (Reached). There is a shot of a beach in that video which I particularly liked (cue: watch the video). I used to find it exquisite if not sophisticated- and would let the romantique in me soar. Saying very vulnerable words. I guess that resonated with me because I was waiting to hear someone express their pain so I could join in.

-

Holi arrived this year
and I wondered how it’s been
about five months now.

My body is a cocreater of experiences,
and right now I just want a break.
So I’ll sleep late. Eat later.
Forget a thing or two.

Swinging inside and outside
of yourself isn’t the best feeling.
One minute it’s Holi outside.
Next minute I’m done.

-

What chatGPT is not

An organization appointed ChatGPT as CEO.
“Everything Everywhere All At Once”.
Literature says emotional intelligence is required in leadership.
Strange.
Dystopia and beauty surprisingly coexist.
This CEO can not feel?
Why a 100% sanitisation?
What is so unbearable about how we feel?
Emotions are always ahead of us.
Maybe we can only learn to respond better.
Why are unemotional decisions so good?
Bias in humans can be corrected by self-awareness.
But here we are now.
A transient dystopia.
A clumsy reality.

-

As I shake in anger,
my thumbs quiver
quicker than my quivering heart.
A rage, uncontainable, spilling over
Like a slow rising dough.
I can not tame it as it overflows.
Too much has been ‘understood’
and too little has been spared,
too little I’m left with-
courage, kindness and these
emotionally epicurean delights.
Rage engulfs the edges of my existence.
Burning me and curling me up
as I shrivel on the bed,
going up in flames.
My properties have been tested,
my limits clear to me.
One day objects and people
just crack- no curtailing my rage.
No turning back-
to kind place for me,
no place to ask for
any kind of a buffer.
Those who suffer, fucking know it-
that those who suffer, just suffer.

-

1 Life is a trauma optimization algorithm.

2 Maybe we will develop more control over our attention as a self-preservation mechanism, as a species.

3 believe that you decide your self-worth.

-

Grief engulfs me-
like a wave engulfs
the ocean into itself.
I swallow my own terrors.

Grief hits me like a bus-
on an unfamiliar street.
I try to move but this place
grips my feet.

Grief cuts me like a dagger-
twisting and turning within.
I shuffle on my desk
a mute spectator.

Grief grazes me like a breeze-
eerily ruffles my heart.
I let the tremor stay,
as I try to let it pass.

Grief hurts and yet I visit-
willingly sometimes,
to stay familiar with the fact
that this grief exists
because you don’t.

-

You arrive,
I flourish.
You leave,
I reset myself.

In the larger scheme of things,
even continents have moved.


I fear,
nothing will change.
I hope,
good things happen.

In the larger scheme of things,
even continents have moved.

-

YourQuote has been a big safe space for me. I have come here with all my angst and I have been met with words of understanding and of appreciation. I have come here as a heartbroken idealist romantic. I have come here as a a woman more sure of herself. YourQuote has been there- like a queen.

I have only good things to say about YourQuote. In other words, “good vibes only”.

-

Words strung together
can be trusted
more than we can trust
the madness of this life
to take the love for you-
you beautiful person-
in my heart
and place it,
right in yours.

-