I sit by my bed,
rest my head against the wall,
eyes still on the silence bleeding on the opposite wall...

There was this time
when my soul sang laughter into the fire of your light,
when love was the very air I breathed,
and I reeling-drunk-dizzy with you.

My body still hums with the echoes of your touch,
the rest, the calm, the quiet haven
found only in the shadow of your soul.

But now, night thickens with that great absence.

Who wove this cruel spell upon us?
What unseen hand has written this sentence:
to live but never much really;
to ache somehow yet spur no healing;
to hold you in the dark and not in my arms?
At 11:15 p.m., I ask the walls,
which echo nothing back but silence.

-

to wake, to breathe, to ache—
to live each day like this?

-

I can’t stop gazing into your eyes...

Let me step into the canvas of your thoughts,
and for a moment, see the world through your eyes.

-

I don't wanna
just look at you
then say see you
next time.
I wanna have conversations
Deep conversations
About anything and everything
I wanna sit clueless
and observe your pattern
All I wanna do is
sit back there
unbox some layers
Know you better and better.
Cause I don't wanna
just look at you
then say see you
next time.

-

11:11
11/11

-

I don’t know if you’re still that same person or if I am..

-

He wishes for me to linger,
his eyes whispering, 'Stay with me, my darling',
yet like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight,
I must slip away.

My fairy godmother's voice beckons,
aflame with impatience,
ignited with frustration at my tardiness,
and I can’t keep the clock waiting any longer.

-

I have a reality to feed
and a past to live...

I'm trapped in this never-ending loop.
Every attempt to break free leads me
back to the starting point.
Is this fate, or my own self-imposed prison?

-

Oh dear moon, kindly whisper to him gently,
of the love that's been there since I turned seventeen
and the love that will be there till I ever be
For I still love him, endlessly...

-

Is it too late now to try and mend our silence?
I'm drowning in this silence, feeling as hollow as if my very existence lacked meaning without you by my side.
Was I so swiftly erased from your thoughts?
Why did our conversations cease?
Did I fall short of your standards?
Every moment is consumed by thoughts of you, yet I struggle to banish them from my mind. I go through the motions, hoping to move forward, only to find myself back where we left off, questioning what went awry.

Sometimes, in the quiet moments, I find myself wondering, do you feel the ache of my absence as deeply as I feel yours, or it's just me who's desperately clinging to the echoes of our past, alone in this longing?

-