Change
Years passed, seasons changed
The snow melt, the river dried
Call logs on phone shows just 3 contacts
Friends became strangers
People, place n surroundings changed
But m just stuck here--
just like an old book in library
Nothing changed-
not even the cover or the contents
The same old me-
growing up hasn't applied on me
I wanted to change but may b my efforts are less
Let me try again
I loved the rain but I wanted to try the spring
I loved old things but I think I should try new things
I want to b a new me.. let me see if I can be
New beginnings requires few endings
And endings can b bleesings too.

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Don't let the waves of ur past
wash away the happiness of ur present
Not always u'll get enough time
to cope up with a situation,
But still u hv to get up, gather yourself
And get thru another day
You have to live in the moment,
To live in the present -
To live your life...!

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God placed brain superior to Heart for a reason

When I was teen ,
obviously my pitutary also released hormones
N I too started to wonder how will I know
If I hv fallen in love? and
it's not just attraction or infatuation,
My brain always had more control over me-
so it was a fact that it wouldn't allow me to waste my unnecessary time on something useless
And my brain was proud of being a topper so anything that could deviate me from studies
was considered a threat
So my brain did a lot of work and
finally came to a conclusion of
how to differentiate REAL LOVE from attraction

(Read rest in caption)

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My unusual morning
This is my first morning in many years
Wherein I haven't read my webtoons
And I miss it
But I hv told myself not to get too addicted
And m just kind of testing my patience
My mom always scolds me saying-
if I had stopped reading webtoon,
Instead have read textbooks at that time,
my marks could hv been better
I do agree with her sometimes
Coz when I'm too stressed esp before exams,
I binge read webtoons
N yes I curse myself a lot that time-
That I shld hv stopped after few episodes
And not hv started a new webtoon
But that's the only entertainment I hv
(Rest in caption)

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Vacations

School time was the time
I used to go for long vacation
Those summer holidays
After 12, the continuous exams and
Getting degree over degree
Staying away from home for 11 years,
2 more to go
I'm just waiting for all this to get over
To get my long break
I hv a long to do list
But first of all I want to stay at my home
Spend time with my parents
Cook for them,eat with them
I know my marriage talks wil come in near future
But before going to someone else house,
I want to stay at my home
Before becoming someone else family
I want to spend time with my own family

Rest in caption

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December

December is arriving
In a week
This not only 'hits' differently
But "hurts" differently
December starts my emotional ride
The anxiety, mood swings n yearning
The reflection, the growth, the stagnancy
Memories, memories n more memories
A week remaining
But that's how it is for me
The December always comes for me a little early ...

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Lizards

Most dreadful creatures of my hostel life were lizards
So any place where I moved to, I always had the room fauna greet me-
The cockroachs n lizards and also rats n ants
These r the regular ones, the rest come according to seasons-
The centipedes, snails etc during monsoons
And as I moved places, I noticed the "cultural" differences amongst them as well
Another reason why I preferred south
So when I was in north for brief time-
There were fatty dark skinned lizards, (not body shaming but just sharing my experience)
They were big, fat, dark n they used to fall off from walls freqently (mostly coz of their weight or their paws had less stickiness- I believe in the former )
So they fell with a "dhupp" sound -
That "dhupp" "dhupp" "dhupp" sounds was sooooo scary at night
I always used to cover myself in blanket,
Completely covered on all sides, fearing it might fall on me someday
(Rest in caption)

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Just some people (part4)

Staying in hostel and sharing room,
Makes u meet many different kinds of people
So another annoying thing done by my roomie.
Before the incident, lets go to the back story -
I had one favourite comfortable sandals
It was the most costly sandal I had ever brought
It was suggested by my close friend n it was very comfortable
since I had flat foot,those were my preferred sandals for long journeys
But during monsoons , I wore them once n it got dirty
N it was the time when I just returned from home so I didnt get time to wash
Duties were hectic n I forgot to wash it eventually
But I had kept it in the last shelf of the wall cupboard- open one which was shared by all n thought of washing it in near future
But one day I come back n see the entire cupboard empty
I asked my roommate what happened? Where r the things kept here?
She- I threw them
Me- but its a common cupboard whre evryone's stuff is placed
She- it looked like a storage place so I cleaned it up
Me- yes but u could hv thrown ur things, why did u throw mine n others?
She- it looked all dirty so I told the maid to throw all
Me- ok .. but what about my shoes
She- it looked muddy n dirty so I threw it

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My roomies have stopped inviting me for outings
They just ask me before leaving- which webtoon/drama/ novel I hv started,
On returning they either gift me eyedrops, earphones or snacks
Snatch my device and put a blanket over me n say goodnight ...

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Scared of getting hurt again,
Angrily I closed the doors of my heart,
Fate changed when I met u
Every small action of yours -

Showed me kindness
Awakened my feelings
Fixed my insecurities
Evoked my faith in love

I feel Safe by your side...

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