--blooming

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Hearing
her sing
is a greater
sadness!

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I would like to think of it all as a colorful phase. Some decades from now, if we happen to recollect our past we must still be able to smile. We must still feel this overwhelming love. I don't want to end up a bitter memory you want to get rid of. I want you to think of our days whenever you need peace. I want to be one of the glad choices you ever made.
I want you to remember me as a happy soul that came along for a while.

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A ride...

I would like to think of a long ride with her. Traveling in the direction chosen by the road ahead, witnessing the world with two pairs of eyes, walking over her shadow, sleeping under her breathe. I'm willing to give myself completely to the idea of being with her.
I keep repeating this dream inside my head. One long journey for my lifetime.

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Like a rain...

Imagine yourself sitting, resting your chin on the windowsill, with a mind
wavering here and there.
Suddenly rain starts gushing
from nowhere. A much needed one.
Every drop seems to mean something.
They won't cease to leave you mesmerized. You find a strange peace in them. She came to me like that.

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Maya,

I wouldn't assume you know what loneliness feels like. It's 10:26 on a friday night. There's no one here to over power the constant whirring of my fridge. I'm just tired. Of meaningless conversations. I'd rather lay on my couch, open youtube and put in on autoplay. It helps, kinda. You know that sinking feeling? When you've people around and still it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter how much you try, you're still going to be this person when everyone leaves? What's the point? I just want to cry out loud, alone, whole day, whole night. My beer isn't cold anymore and I've no cigarettes left. I'll try and get some sleep. I wouldn't assume you know what loneliness feels like. I wish you didn't.

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I too wonder, what has become of him. All that sheerness for love and hatred. He can't love anyone like before, same as he can't hate anyone like before. Love and hate are intertwined, believe it or not. Like a pendulum that stopped its course. What has become of him is as much a mystery as what would become of us if gravity is to stop working, if love/hate is to keep us from moving.

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Maya,

We become different people as we stop loving anyone. We lose a great deal of emotions that are very particular to us. What I lost when you left is, I don't remember how it felt like to be myself. I hope you found love again. I hope you didn't have to try hard. And I hope that when it leaves, if it leaves, you won't have to lose yourself.

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When in silence
I fear coming across
your memories.

I fear that if I do,
I couldn't come across
anything anymore
in that silence.

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I often
succumb to my heart,
that yearns for her kiss
despite the pain.

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