पछातापाची ची वाळवी मनाला लागते आणि माणूस पूर्ण पणे पोरखरून जातो.
मग उरते तो चालता फिरता मृतदेह.

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Heartbreaking things don't affect me anymore. This state of mind is beyond crying, beyond feeling bad beyond, reacting to things.

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That moment when I realized that happiness in the material world didn't touch my heart and I no longer belong to that world. I step ahead to find myself. But I couldn't.

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This is not first time i am facing things alone,
This is not first time i am crying all alone,
This is not first time i am panicking and frustrating,
This is not first time but thing time i was expecting someone by my side,
This time i was craving for sympathy and love,
This time i was waiting for someone just to ask me about you,
This time i was broken down and shattered completely,
This time i becomes worst.

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Why it hard to survive for me after you? Overwhelming heart and heavy mind always makes my day worst. And when it's your birthday week I felt miserable.

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Why me? Why always me?

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To my child,
Where r u now? Resting in heaven or finding a path to go to heaven? I know if you are in heaven you might force all angels and God to celebrate your birthday. Or if you become a lost soul, you might wish someone will see you and wish you for the day.
I know you are super excited about your birthday and you deserve a surprise too.
Do you remember your last year birthday? When We blow candles you said happy new and I said happy birthday...
I knew I am bad at remembering things but I remember your first birthday with me clearly. I remember how you set on your knees and ask me to become your mom.. do you remember? You promised me to give 10 candies and promise you to give you my heart for the rest of my life.
After your death, your mom left with an empty heart with an immense amount of pain and grief. Today I search for you everywhere but I didn't find you. My brain didn't work when I was overwhelmed. I remember every day spent with you I remember you with my every breath but on the occasion of your birthday I feel lost and devasted, I go into your memories and it becomes next to impossible for me to come back.
Happy Birthday to part of my soul and queen of my heart ❤️

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Tumhari yaadein tumhari baatein sab yaad he muje par us din jis din tum chali gai thi voh din dhundla sa yaad he,
Thik se kuch yaad nahi par chand logon ke chechere par uthi mayusi aur tumhare chehere par otha voh safed kapada yaad he,
Yaad nhi mene kis tarah se sambhala tha us vakt apne aap ko par god me tumhe aakhri bar leta hua yaad he,
Yaad he sab ke aankho me zalakati hue vo sahanubhuti par mere man ki aavaj vo toh yaad nhi he,
Yaad he muje salo bad krishn ke mandir mene rakha hua kadam par dua thi yaa narajagi jatai vo yaad nhi he,
Yaad he muje apne ki kuch logone kahi hue kuch kadavi bate aur mere dukh par uthai hue ungliya par kisi ki pyar bhari batein yaad nhi he,
Us din kisi ne nhi smjaya muje kisi ne mere dard ka jikr bhi na par kisi ke kandhe par sar rakh kar me soye bhi thi kya vo yaad nhi he,
Aaj Tak kahi logon ke sath dard bat liya mene par man halka sa kabhi hua nahi,
Yaad nahi tumhne jate vakt aavaj lagai thi ya nahi par tumhari aakhri muskan abhi bhi yaad Hain

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Sometimes we get tired of life, things, people .
Sometimes ek moment create disasters, disappointments and distrub peace of mind.
I don't know why I am writing this and why i am doing this. It's just moment, i regret.
I realised at the end i will left with me, a empty me. And i don't know. Let it be

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Life is short but we have to live to its fullest.

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